I apologize up front for being “all over the place” in this post. #1 I’m just a leeeeetle bit overwhelmed and #2 it’s how my brain works, I can’t help it and I hope that it makes sense. Everything makes sense in my head until I spit it out then I have that “foot in mouth” syndrome! None the less, just a few random thoughts about the recent “activity” and when I say RANDOM I mean RANDOM!
Please read my disclaimer that I have posted on my home page. It goes a little something like this:
My itty bitty disclaimer: I’m not a writer, I don’t claim to be, I don’t want to be. I have horrible spelling, awful grammar and down right nasty punctuation…but I do promise, I AM college ed-umacated!Tee he he he. But on a serious note, this place is where none of that matters. This is my little piece of the inter-webber and I can say, spell and punctuate any way I want
I am completely overwhelmed, humbled and a bit taken back that so many of you took the time out of your day to repost, comment, email or just send some blog love my way. I honestly had no idea how powerful it would become but I have received emails from several of you, phone calls from local news stations, emails from reporters, requests to be featured on blogs. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t prepared for ALL of this, I was prepared for some harsh comments/criticism/feedback but not THIS kind of response. I have received emails from those of you from all over the world (literally) who mentioned how you were in your adult years and that the bullying still effects you. I’ve received emails from current high school students thanking me and calling me a their “hero”. I honestly don’t know how to process it all. I mean have you SEEN how many comments there were? Yesterday it was a full time job keeping up with everything. Some of your stories about bullying were just heartbreaking.
I’m not claiming to be an expert in bullying and as a matter of fact when asked by the few people that called, NO, I don’t have a first hand experience with bullying. Of course during my middle school/awkward years I’m sure there were some name calling but it was never really that bad that I didn’t want to go to school. And certainly not as bad as some of the individuals that emailed in. So I can’t stand up here and say I had been bullied, because I wasn’t. I liked to think I was friends with everyone. BUT I don’t think one has to have gone thru being bullied to stand up to it. I would like to hope that all of us could speak up if we ourselves witnessed it happening with our own eyes. And I guess that is where I find all the buzz hard to believe and process. All I did was say, no, I’m not going to take your picture because you were mean. Do I think that I’m the best photographer in the world…hahah..big fat N.O.! Do I know they could go out and easily find another photographer…Yes….but the point was, I didn’t want to spend time with them trying to make them look pretty when knew they were being ugly on the inside. Mean is ugly…and in my opinion they were making the CHOICE to be ugly.
Yesterday as everything was going viral, I was on a shoot with one of my clients. Then directly after, I went to one of my friend’s house to hang out with some good friends. I hadn’t seen the news clip yet and as I walked in someone said, “Here comes the saint!”. Keep in mind, they were saying it in a joking manner and I think he is a great guy, I didn’t take it the wrong way. He was just doing a friendly jab..it’s how my friends work and that’s why I love them! But it got me thinking, I hope all of you don’t think I’m a saint–for lack of a better word. I’m human, I’m certainly no Saint. I don’t claim to be perfect. For example, in admits the midst of yesterday’s chaos, I must admit, I am a bad mom…I forgot to feed my child. I came out to the studio early in the day when my phone was blowing up to see what everything was about and was caught up in keeping up with emails, phone calls, etc, that I forgot to feed my child! It wasn’t until she looks at me and goes, “Mom, when are you going to make breakfast?” It was 2:30pm! haha! Whoopsy, I’m glad to report, she still loves me and I fed her breakfast at promptly 7am this morning!! It just happens that in this particular instance, most of you think I did the “right” thing but trust me, there are probably a million things I’ve done wrong in my life time, I’m not perfect.
I wrote “Most” of you think I did the right thing.So you’ve seen all the awesome things people are saying but not everyone feels the same way, and I can respect that. I’m keeping an open mind and I’m going to assume that they had the best interest of those whom were being bullied. Some people feel very strongly that my opinions have no place in my business. I respect that, I really do, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with it.
If I’m going to keep it real, even with all the support that I’ve been receiving, I still have my insecurities too. Photographers and organizations, blogs and websites that I LOOK up to were sharing my link.I mean, photographers that I look up to and that are 1000x times better than I’ll EVER be were commenting and sharing my link. This lead to an influx of photographers to my “like” page (I’m going to call you “likers”) and so now, I’m thinking, Oh my gosh, with all these new likers I’m paranoid to post any of my future images because all of these critiques about my work will come pouring in. I mean here I am little bitty small town photographer having my website look my thousands of you and wandering if my work was “subpar” what would people think. We are human, I know I’m certainly not perfect and here I am worrying about what everyone will think and I’m not being bullied. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to have that burden and knowing that people are ruthlessly saying mean and hurtful things.
I’m now under a microscope……..it’s here…and honestly, I don’t know what to do with it. I’m just going to resume as I always did and hope that someone else got the message…for those of you who don’t agree with me, I’m sorry you feel that way. I guess if you have your own business you can run it the way YOU see fit! If this hurts me..well fine, at least I know I failed at something I felt strongly about and I won’t be able to blame it on the economy. It will because of a decision I made…and I’m ok with that! At this point, I’m going to try to get things back to normal around here by editing yesterday’s session so I can share it on the blog just like I always do, going to an awesome ALUMNI football game (GO Bobcats) and by hanging out with one of my best friends over the weekend, she’s driving in from Michigan..yay!
Again guys…thank you!
PS: Mean is UGLY!
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by jen mcken
165 comments
KatieLaSalle-Lowery - I’m one of those photographers that ‘liked’ your page when I read the viral reports. I realize I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but, nonetheless, I don’t think you should worry, at all, about other photographers critiquing your work. :^) I like your ethics — and your photos! Keep on doing what you do!
Cynthia - Just wanted to say this:
I understand how you feel!!! And while we do live in a hyper-technology world that catapults into a spotlight that you may not be comfortable in, you are handling it very well.
The first thing I noticed when I came to your fan page after reading about the situation was:
1. Your work is stellar, well shot, composed etc, give yourself more credit!
2. You shoot with Canon!!! So, you know what’s up!
You have a great attitude and approach to this ordeal. And, I think esstentially, the media circus could be thought of as bullying in itself, being that they hound and press until they get what they want.
just to clarify- not shooting “ugly” people | indiana county, pa photographer | personal | Jen McKen Photography - [...] Hey all! So I’m a little shocked that I’m even writing this blog post and that it has gotten this big. Although I don’t feel its necessary to justify my action or my stance, I thought because I am not ashamed of what I did, I’d explain a few things that perhaps some of you may be missing. Incase you are wondering, this is in reference to how “I Won’t Photograph Ugly People” and the other blog post “ummmmm….Thank You!“. [...]
Lacy Jae - You say you were never bullied.
Personally, while I think someone who is or has been bullied standing up is amazing, and strong, and takes so much courage to do… There is something very poignant about someone who has never dealt with bullying to stand up and say “Hey. This is wrong. I see what you’re doing, and I’m not going to stand for it.” Too many people watch this stuff go on and say nothing, so when someone completely outside of what’s going on stands up and says something – and whatever you may think, saying it with your business is so, so strong – it’s just… heartwarming.
I keep tearing up when I read all this stuff. I was bullied in school, though I honestly haven’t really thought about it in those terms before.. But I do remember onlookers who never said anything. And it wasn’t subtle, I was physically bullied by girls and boys in elementary, smacked in a class, and drug around the gravel yard by a skipping rope by a couple boys.
Me saying something, my friends saying something… is definitely not the same as someone on the outside standing up.
You’re awesome.
Shannon - You are awesome, talent notwithstanding. Thank you for taking an action to help the upcoming generation (hopefully) become more tolerant of each other.
d. young - @Jenna–I feel sorry for you. Your post was so negative that anyone who reads it understands that you JuSt DoN’t GeT iT. People do exist who really don’t have anything bad to say about others. And people exist who have but regret it deeply. Intention is everything. And as far as I’m concerned Jen is a HeRo!
Summer - It takes an amazing person to stand up for what they believe. This made me smile that people in this world still have strong ethics and morals. You rock!
Allison - This is the best thing I’ve read in a while! WAY TO GO! If we can’t stand up for what we believe in, then what good are we? As both a mom of teenage girls and a photographer, I totally get what you did and why you did it. We need to take a stand and show our young ladies in our lives that this is not tolerated whatsoever. It IS ugly! Hats off to you, Jen!
Nancy - I came here to add my name to the ever growing list of folks who were really touched and impressed with your actions against bullying. Then I read your latest post and I realized how disconcerting this sudden, world-wide attention (even if it is positive) must be. So, with that in mind, here are my thoughts:
1. You rock.
2. You rock not because you are perfect, but because you are a “regular” person, with, as your post describes, the complex mix of talent, challenges and silly insecurities that 99% of us have. However, you, a “regular” person, showed UNCOMMON empathy and courage, defending bullied kids despite possible economic and personal cost. As the previous comments (and my own experience) attest, far too many adults fail to stand up to bullies, even when the bullies are children bullying other children. I admire you not because you are a perfect person, but because you are a normal person who did a “perfectly excellent” thing, which, thanks to the attnetion this has received, not only impacts the lives of the bullies and the bullied, but is a powerful example to thousands of us across the world. So, you did a really great thing, and now you have my permission to go back to the normal, everyday world of taking (beautiful, by the way) photographs and forgetting to put out breakfast, etc.!
Alyssa MacVeigh - You are AMAZING. You did the right thing at the risk of losing business; I truly don’t know how many would do the same (though I hope the answer is many). It’s too bad you aren’t in New York or I would certainly ask you to take photos of my son; your work is just as stunning as your personality. As it is, I’ve shared the article and have forwarded it to friends of mine in PA specifically. Thank you!
Kathy Short - I am a 19 year old sophomore at New York University, but I am from Indiana, PA. A friend from NYU posted an article about you and, well you know what, I mean come on. I read it, and saw that you are from Indiana County! Way to represent! I think what you did is great, but I was more impressed with a comment you made that was at the very end of the article, tucked behind the bullying coverage. You refused to release the names of the girls because, as you said, “We live in such small towns.” That is so true, and is such a wise decision on your part. Another thing: so many of my friends don’t realize the consequences of their actions on Facebook and I think you made an important point by saying that Facebook isn’t temporary. Anyways, just wanted to say, keep doing what you’re doing– you’re doing it well.
Bob Stango - Good job, helped me restore my faith in humanity
Bob Stango - Good Job, helped me restore faith in humanity!
Lark Telerana - You’ve taken a stand. I am proud of you. As an educator in a major uban-metro school district, I see horrible horrible HORRIBLE things happen daily at the hands of bullies. I hope your rejection has taught these girls the importance of the “Golden Rule,” thus, I pray they use your tactic as a way of warning them that the concepts of conscience: karma, “you reap what you sow,” and the result of evil behavior will not be avoided.
As for the idea that you “broke a contract” with these girls and their families – IF you did not have a written contract holding you to the task, do not fret too much. What you did is quite similar to interviewers who browse MySpace and Facebook prior to making an offer of employment. I feel, “If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything.” With that said, keep standing.
Susan from DC - You are awesome for what you did. If it made those girls or their parents think for even one second about their behavior, it was a gift to their whole community. Thanks. And your photos are gorgeous too!
Amanda - I just saw your story on Yahoo. As someone who was bullied in high school (over a decade ago) to the point that I considered suicide, I want to thank you for taking a stand against it. It is not all fun and games. Feelings are real, and hurt can run deep. In today’s society, it seems that most people look the other way. It is good to know that there are still some people in this world who will not tolerate such behavior and will stand against it.
Shaun from Pittsburgh - Saw the story on Yahoo and wanted to take a moment to applaud you for your decision and your heart. Though this may have seemed to be a small, personal decision on your part, the end results of it are thankfully soaring. It takes lone voices like yours, doing seemingly innocuous things, to remind us there are still amazing people in the world. And role models to be had. God bless you and your success.
Just Looking - I think it is good to take a stance on things one truly believes in. I also think there is a time and a place for those stances.
Essentially you broke a contract with these girls. You agreed to take their photos. When you did that, you did not tell them that their photo session depended on you approving of their behaviors or facebook page.
If these same girls had canceled with you, because they didn’t like something about your personal life or views, I doubt you would like it.
Wonder-V - I found your story on Yahoo! today and couldn’t wait to congratulate you! I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about idiots designing and SELLING 24c gold and diamond studded contact lenses and how that has nothing to do with the betterment of the world, in fact, I was appalled. I LOVED seeing a feel good, in your face, doing right for the sake of doing right story and blogged on you, too! I loved the opportunity to display the world redeeming itself and love your stand. As a fairweather photog, I can really respect the risk you took. Good on ya, and Namaste!
Amy - Glad I caught the viral news. I have never visited your website or blog before, but had to see after hearing a clip about this story. A few things I want to say:
1. Your work is amazing.
2. I respect those that stand for what they believe in.
3. Beauty is from the inside out.
4. With your one action, you are making an impact.
It took courage, but I am sure so many are glad you had that courage and many will be blessed by that and your talent for years to come. Sharing this on my blog tomorrow! My best to you!
Tiffany - All I can say is WOW!!!! Oh and I have goosebumps, the good kind of course!!!! You are one amazing woman jen mcken!!!!!
Rob Scott - don’t sell yourself short, you made a conscious decision to pass on money based on a morally correct approach. that is done few and far between these days. as the father of a four year old girl i was touched by your actions. perhaps if enough people continue to take the kind of action you did and the movement continues to grow i will have to worry less about my daughter being victimized. while i was bullied i am over it, as they say success is the best revenge. i wish you the best and am sure good things will come your way, while karma can be a b@itch i don’t think you need to worry about that.
Kari - You will always reap the benefits/curses of what you sow. I pray MANY, MANY blessings to you and your business for having the integrity and courage to stand up for what is morally right.
Lainey - I applaud you for choosing not to help someone spread hatred. Posting your choice not to photograph hurtful people in an anonymous way was a great way to take a stand against bully’s while still respecting their privacy. I find peoples comments, that you violated the bully’s rights, odd and a little disturbing. They were going to publicly humiliate others, but yet someone publicly disagreeing with their plan (but still keeping the bully’s privacy intact) is going to far?? You dealt with the issue in private, taught the kids a valuable lesson in character and reminded society what it means to be truly kind and considerate. Kudos to you and best wishes for continued success in your business and in life. I am sure you will go far!
Heather J Thomas - Too many people today see things and let them happen rather than taking a stand. Thanks for taking a stand and leading by example. I am sure the kids on that facebook page being bullied on some level feel that someone has their back and maybe they won’t feel powerless to that bullying. And maybe by example, other adults will take similar actions when they see cyber bullying or any other kind of bullying occur.
jimmy - as a person in my mid 40′s the effects of bullying still linger with me, thank you for your inspiration and doing something instead of talking about it. If ever in PA you are the photographer of choice!
Amanda - As a person who despises Mondays as much as Garfield, this made my day! I have an autistic brother who was bullied when we were younger. I used to crawl under a table at daycare & cry because these kids would be so hateful. One day they started pushing on him, so I ran over & pushed back. I may not have been the right move, but I was 11 & didn’t care. They were pushing my brother! For some reason I was the only one who got into any trouble. Pleading with the teacher to understand that I was protecting my brother didn’t help; she only became angrier, insisting that no one was being mean to him. Looking back now I realize that she didn’t want any lawsuits over the fact that my brother was being mistreated. In high school one of the kids who had pushed m brother was the biggest bully on campus. She was hateful. I made sue to stand up for anyone she laid her vicious claws into. My family & I commend you on taking a stance that for some reason has people running scared. Kudos to you! Your work & your world will be blessed for your kindness!
Dave - A professional with ethics?
In our “rich is better than right” society, someone turned down money to do the right thing?!
I’m amazed. I’m impressed. I have a tiny bit of hope for society.
In a small gesture, you did a huge thing.
Kate - I am 6’1, female, a stay at home mom with equally tall children, extremely shy when it comes to meeting new people and I have been bullied many times during my elementary, middle and high school years. I see it now with one of my girls who is 10 and stands 5’8. She is not thin but she is sweeter than can be and it kills me when she is teased. I applaud you and thank you for having the courage to stand up to those families and to speak for those who can’t do it themselves. I speak for my kids because I hated how the teasing made me feel and I don’t ever want it to happen to my kids, or their friends or anyone else. Every little bit helps.
A mom - You go girl! It’s time people stood up for what is right. I applaud you just like I was proud of the gal in New Jersey who wouldn’t sell her bridal gown to someone who wasn’t getting “married” in her mind.
There are still moral people in this country, and you’re my new hero!
(From Texas)
Holly - You are AMAZING! As a school counselor, I cannot thank you enough for your courage, professionalism, and commitment to doing what is right. I will share your story with my students this fall as an example of a very positive role model.
Holly - You%20are%20AMAZING!%20%20As%20a%20school%20counselor%2C%20I%20cannot%20thank%20you%20enough%20for%20your%20courage%2C%20professionalism%20and%20commitment%20to%20doing%20what%20is%20right.%20%20
Terri - Thank you for having the courage to take a stand on bad behavior. We need more business owners with your level of integrity. Kudos to you!!
cindi - All I have to say is I wish I lived there. I’d go to you for all my photography and send all my friends there too. Kudos to your integrity and your morals. You’re an inspiration to me.
Emily - I just read an article this morning in Greenville, SC and am very impressed with your stance on bullying. A lot of people complain about it but very few do much about it but you’ve taken a spectacular stance and I admire you for standing up for those that aren’t as popular, cool or pretty. I hope the parents who received the letters use the information in a way that will improve their daughters behaviors and teach them that it’s unacceptable…in high school and in life. Those that are bullies now may become bullied later in life. What goes around, comes around. But thank you for sticking up for those that were bullied. I hope your business prospers and is very successful!I would use you but there’s a distance barrier!
Jasmine - Just saw the news article on Huffington Post and I am so incredibly overjoyed to see someone take a stand! I have a friend who lost a relative not too long ago due to bullying. He was 14 and took his own life. I pray and hope that this will cause SOME young person to take a step back, look at his/her words more carefully and realize the impact that true UGLINESS can have. BEAUTY is what you’re doing, trying to stop the ugly. Kudos, and good luck in all your future endeavors from Florida!
Elizabeth from Philly - You are fantastic. Don’t let the haters get to you, because #1 it is YOUR business to run as YOU see fit, and #2 I’ll bet that the only people who are against you standing up to the bullies are people that were bullies themselves. The world needs more people who aren’t afraid to call people out when they are wrong.
Aubrey - Just saw what you did on tumblr – you are incredible. I hope this BOOSTS your business tenfold, because it takes a lot to take a stand. Thank you for what you’ve done.
A Teacher - Thank you for taking a stand against bullying. I was tormented in elementary and high school by a group of vicious kids. I was well into adulthood before I was able to let go of the insecurities and fears their behavior caused. My friend’s son switched schools because of relentless bullying. Now that I’m a teacher, I spend a lot of time building community in my classroom and letting people know from day one how I expect people to be treated and the consequences for crossing the line. It’s time more people stopped thinking “kids will be kids” and take a stand.
Joe - Jen you are my hero! I think that bullying is a horrible thing to do. When I was younger, I too was bullied because I was a chubby kid. Now I drive a school bus and when the county I drive for told us that bullying was no longer being tollerated, It was so great to hear! BUT!!! when I tried to have a boy that was not only bullying another boy, but he was being physical with him too, removed from the bus (perminatly), the school did nothing to him, just because I wanted everyone on the bus to know who he was and what he did. Well, you’d think that the world was coming to an end!! The school wanted to keep it quiet and behind closed doors. I say it should be in the open and in front of his or her peers. The punishment should be swift and severe! That way any of their friends will see what happens when they do that!! When it was happening to me, I would have loved to have someone stick up for me and stop it on the spot and not hide it, so that it just would continue…………………BUT then again, what do I know? I’m just a regular guy!…….Thanks Again!!
Sue - I admire you and thank you!!!
To Average Joe…..you are just another “ugly” person!
Matt - Awesome. Just awesome.
Angie R. - Jen, first off, I am late to the dance. However, I want to take a moment to commend you for taking a stand against bullying. We try so hard to raise strong, confident kids, and then sometimes, ugliness gets in the way. I am a mom of a soon-to-be 7th grader and I got a glimpse of how life can be for these kids. I try to encourage her to be a good person and to stick to her principles. Thank you for sticking to yours.
Your comment that some people don’t think your opinions have a place in your business. Integrity is black and white – it’s about the only thing that has no gray. I support you in that your opinions, your thoughts, your principles, your integrity have everything to do with how you do business. And yes, there is an impact. Most of the time you will see that by staying true to who you are, you will gain the support of more people and gain more customers.
Running a business is not an easy road but it’s very rewarding. Congratulations to your for making that leap. Spread your wings and fly. I wish you only the best!!!
Elizabeth@BlueClearSky - I understand that you need to get back to your family and business, but just wanted to say I really admire you for making the decision that you did. It has been said many times, but it only takes one person to make a difference. At this little moment in history, you are that one person. As a parent I can only hope to raise my kids with the good sense that you were obviously raised with. Maybe, just maybe one of those girls will learn from this and make a difference one day too.
Troy - Jen, I just read the story about the HS kids and Photos. I applaud you and your stand against bullies. I am involved with kids from HS in my business, and see the way some treat others. I make myself known, and stand up against the bullying, and try to show how it hurts both involved.
It is nice to see someone stand up for their values..
Troy
Rhiannon Clark - I think it was fantastic of you to refuse to photograph bullies. It’s setting a good example for people to stand up against internally ugly people. Stand up to the bullies and give the people who are bullied a voice. Well done!! Support from Nottingham, England. x
Mihrage - One word… Bravo
Julie - Not only do you stand up to bullies, and call it out for the ugly behavior it, but also you put your personal ethics before profit. Many could learn from you!
susan k case - You are warrior…a hero! Your words equal your actions! I loved waking up this morning and reading this type of uplifting news. Such a good soul you are!
Jess - As an adult who was a victim of bullying over 10 years ago, I can say that it still affects me, and I am so proud of you for standing up for a girl who, no doubt, is going to think of you as a role model for the rest of her life. Who knows, you could have just saved a life. Bullying is one of the most sincere forms of ugliness, indeed. Here’s to making the world a prettier place.
kelly - Seeing behavior like this and not saying or doing anything is the same as giving them a permission slip. I love that you have done this and envy your ability to just politely say ‘no thanks’ instead of doing something vengeful and malicious like photograph the bullies with their comments as the background….
John Drake - My hat’s off to you. As someone who was bullied severely between grades 8-12, 1 year in public school, 4 in a Lutheran school, it made me feel good someone was willing stand up for those like me. The adults would not do anything about it, even when the kids doing it didn’t deny it. I’ve also been bullied in the workplace as well. You did a great thing and I hope others follow suit. You may not want to be a hero, but to me you are.
Astrid - I am grateful for people like you. You did a seemingly small thing that has resonated across our culture and made all of us think. It just takes one brave person to get the ball rolling in the right direction. And you certainly have done that. Just imagine all the good that has come out of this small selfless act. You decided to refuse the business of four “ugly” people and now the univese is going to reward you tenfold. Good job setting a good example for all of us. Thank you!
RGaines - Jen,
A friend posted this news story to my page yesterday, so I had to find out more about the person who had the wherewithal to follow up her convictions with action. Bullying is so pervasive in teenage culture, that it is accepted as normal. The internet has taken the place of the bathroom wall, I’m afraid. Kudos to you and your stance. I sincerely wish you well with your photography business. Thank you.
Laura - Don’t worry about your photography, Jen. Although I heard about you via the stand you took against the action of those girls (and I know you were acting only out of principal, not trying to start a movement! :p) I have looked through quite a lot of your work on Facebook and I really have to say that you do take beautiful photos. You really capture the ‘feel’ of the moment; I especially like the wedding photos you took!
You are a very talented photographer who can capture the real emotions of a situation and preserve them, now, that takes skill and talent. What you did on taking a stand only cements you as a beatiful person, who indeed takes beautiful photos. And it was indeed the RIGHT thing to do – detentions don’t get through to girls these age; not allowing them senior photos or banning them from the prom for example really gets them where it hurts. I hope they learn from this incident, and indeed become reformed young women.
Please don’t be scared of the publicity
Laura – UK
Bert Wolfe - Thank you, Jen! Your beautiful photographic work is a reflection of your beautiful soul!
With respect and gratitude, Bert Wolfe
Tom - I support you — you have been true to your own values, and even put your business on the line! Integrity and courage like that is stuff of heroes.
William Fagiano - Jen…don’t mean to take up much of your time, want to give you a ‘high-five’ and when you find yourself in Chicago, I’ll be happy to show you my town! Billy 312.282.1875
Sarah - Thank you for your courage against bullying. Please keep standing up for kindness and love.
Kirk Johnson - Jen,
Thanks so much for canceling the shots of those that bully others.
Hats off to you.
Susan J - This is inspiring and wonderful!! You are inspiring and wonderful!
Dave Porter - Just read about what you did regarding the Facebook Bullies. Very cool!
Tina M - Got the link for your story from Joelle Watt’s site, So glad you stood up for yourself and in turn for the students being bullied. Sometimes doing the right thing is harder than overlooking things and just taking the job. I am glad it got so much publicity, maybe now parents will keep a closer eye on their kids. Great work, and wonderful Photo’s also. Such talented people online!!
Donna Donahue - Thank you for taking a stand! Maybe one day it will stop. It has to stop at home. Bullies give birth to new bullies, and until people stand up to them they will never stop.
Troy Davidson - THANK YOU !!! Stop putting yourself down, you’re in the 1% and that’s special. I’d be proud to have you do a photo op for me with a disposable camera.
rosie - awesome! what you said & what you did!! i admire you for standing up for your beliefs
bullying sucks and there is no place for it in this world
Annabeth - Brava! Courage is a rare thing these days and you exemplify the best of humanity as many ignore the very simplest motto,”do unto others…”. Thank You.
Brooklyn - Thankyou
Tonya - Good for you, stay strong, hang in there and be proud of who you are both inside and out! Beautiful!
Tom - Thank you so much for taking a stand. As a teacher, everyday I have to teach kids who I know are engaged in many inappropriate behaviors. Too often our hands are tied by lawyers and weak administrators, instead we just put on a blank face and deliver education to kids who are only deserving of some real-life lessons and counseling.
Thank you for providing one.
Dave - Well done. Very well done indeed.
Jennifer - It takes a strong person to stand up for what you believe. Stay strong! Hugs!!
Chris - This made my day. Thank you for having the strength to stand up for the right thing. Thank you for being a good person and making the world a better place. It’s awesome how many people stand by you in this decision. If more people were like you maybe teenagers like this wouldn’t be so ugly on the inside.
cait - you’re awesome, simply for standing up for your beliefs.
cait - you are awesome for standing up for your beliefs. bullying is such a huge problem right now, and i love your motto. people forget/don’t realize that the things they post online can be seen by anyone. you should be completely proud of yourself!
Shan - Photog is my private little obsession and hobby, so I’m nowhere nearly as talented as you or anyone else for that matter. I just do it for fun. However, if I did it as a biz, it’d be MY biz and nobody else’s, and I’d run it how I see fit, just as you should. I don’t think it was brave of you, or wise of you, or “whatever” of you, because that’s implying that you did it to make a statement to OTHERS, and I don’t think that’s the case. You did it because you followed your heart in wanting to do the right thing….because it felt right to you. Kudos to you. Seriously, now that you’re seeing the attention this is getting, you might want to be prepared to be sitting across from Matt Lauer, if you haven’t already been approached by the Today show. If they don’t approach you, I’ll be shocked and disappointed! Hugs to you, and 2 big thumbs up, too!
Shan
IL
Jenn - Good for you for standing up to bullying in this manner. I support your decision 100%.
Ruby - I applaud what you did. However, your sample letter, which I saw on a news site, to the clients was very poorly written. I know you have posted above that you are aware of your poor writing skills; however, when writing to clients, you should have somebody proofread your work. You will project a much more professional demeanor in doing so.
Luann Boozer - God Bless you for your compassion! Too many people turn their heads to the ignorance of these teenagers. Along with “some” of their parents. Well if the parents are not willing to give them consequences for bad & unacceptable behavior… hats off to you Jen. Great job!
Kristen from Colorado - You are and amazing person! I am glad people stand up for others as you have! KUDO’S TO YOU WOMAN!!! Giving you all the support I can from Colorado! You Rock!
(PS YOU HAVE AMAZING WORK!!!)
cathy - Thank you for having the ovaries to stand up for what you believe is right. You are so correct, you can’t make someone that mean and ugly on the inside look beautiful on the outside.
Average Joe: You, sir, are an idiot and an asshole. She owns her own business; therefore, she has the right to do or NOT do whatever she wants. Her moral compass said “you can’t make ugly pretty” so she chose not to do so. Just like those girls had the right to chose to say or not say those vicious things to someone. What you, they, and millions of other people don’t get is a basic law of physics “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. Put more simply, karma is a bitch!
Amy - After reading an article about your recent bravery of standing up to bravery I decided to google you! So thrilled to see you are from my hometown that I visit a couple times of year with my family. The next time I come you will get my business. And might I say the opportunity to photograph 4 beautiful kids (inside and out). Best of luck on your continued success!
Amy
Chicago
Could it be there is still hope? « Lemur King's Folly - [...] Ms. McKendrick (Jennifer McKendrick), I am willing to drive to Indiana to pay you to photograph my f…. [...]
Lemur King - Thank you, ma’am, for showing real character.
This story really isn’t even about those four girls anymore. It’s about making a principled stand, and saying “There ARE limits to acceptable behavior”.
I’ve never been a big fan of the “It takes a village” mentality but there is some merit to the idea that a responsible parent needs some feedback when their kid is engaging in behavior that they (1) can’t see, and (2) can’t condone. For the sake of my children I can only hope there will be someone like you who would tell us if they witnessed our children behaving similarly so we could address it.
Well done, Ms. McKendrick, well done.
Desi - As a gay man who went to a large AAAA high school in the late 80′s, I want to say THANK YOU. From the “fag” spray painted numerous times on my car and locker, to tires slashed, to the verbal abuse, to urine balloons being thrown at me, to most of my very large senior class yelling Desi Gay (last name) when my name of Desi Jay (last name) was called during graduation, I had to live through it all. Never once did I have a teacher or administrator step up with the courage and moxie that you did. Some people like “Average Joe” have no clue what torment GLBT students go through growing up. I wish you much success in your business, and once again I want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
Josh Behr - I applaud your integrity. I wish more people would take a principled and personal stand as you have. Thanks for being a good person
barrettsh - Thank you so much Jen for taking a principled stand on bullying. I’m sharing your story on my Facebook and with friends. I wish more people would take such a stand.
Certainly everybody has ‘free speech’ but that doesn’t mean others have to tolerate bad, abusive, or bullying behavior in their lives or their businesses. Bullies do what they do because it most often has no consequences to them. Too often, no one stands up to them. Exposing them — refusing to accept their behavior in silence and refusing to allow it to stay hidden — is the key.
If more people would take a stand, the instances of bullying in both childrens’ and adult lives might decrease. Young people can learn from such experiences and circumstances and by your example, maybe some adults can, too.
B
Kim - That made complete sense to me, maybe my brain works the same as yours, lol. I’m one of those new “likers” & don’t be worried about your work & what others might say about it, it’s coming from inside of you & you’re clearly a beautiful person taking beautiful photographs. People give negativity because they have nothing else to offer. Don’t change who you are & stay beautiful Jen.
Renee Horne - Thank you for having the courage of your convictions to confront these young girls and their parents of this unacceptable behavior. I was encouraged a few of the parents appreciated your course of action. If more people would follow suit, we could make headway in stopping this. You are certainly to be commended for not allowing money to trump character. I pray your business truly prospers. Thank you again!
IlliniMS - I read your story on CNN.
Your decision to remove those individuals from your customer base due to their actions was outstanding. I sincerely hope – but am somewhat doubtful – that the parents of the individuals do something to correct problems that will probably follow those kids into their adult lives.
Best wishes to a successful future. Thank you again for displaying such positive action in the face of such disgusting behavior.
S.S. - Wonderful example for us all!
SiemAkalAlis - Bravo. Sooner or later *some* of these bullies will learn that nothing on the internet ever goes away. I hope this follows them the rest of their lives. While I believe, in general, people need to develop thicker skin, these kind of bullies are the worst kind — they don’t have the courage of their convictions — they are too weak to bully in real life, but save it for the internet where they can be “anonymous”. And that shows more weakness of character and lack of moral fibre than just the incident itself.
Claudia - Kudos, Jen! I’ve never felt the need to make comment to a total stranger before, but your actions struck a cord. I applaud you for following your heart. I truly believe if people, especially children, aren’t seeing caring, compassionate behavior they will not develop it. Many children aren’t held accountable for their actions by their parents or peers, so they are left to continue it. I work in a school and am so thankful and proud of what you did and glad it’s getting the exposure it needs. Good luck in all your endeavors.
Kathleen - I’m not sure why a certain group of people (yes, AverageJoe, I mean you), believes that our 1st Amendment means that people can’t get blowback from exercising their free speech rights. The point is that you can say just about anything without fear of ARREST. And the rest of us are free to find what you’ve said to be despicable, and to refuse to do business with you on that basis. Freedom of speech is NOT freedom from consequences. If you say mean, horrible things, we are free to choose not to associate with you – personally or professionally. Jen didn’t claim to be the “moral compass of a community”. She was the moral compass of HERSELF. And more power to you, Jen. Thanks for standing up to bullies!
jessica - Thank you for putting profits aside and doing the right thing. Your actions will make a huge impact on those girls’ lives.
Sue - I saw your story on the news in Milwaukee, WI.
I wanted to Thank You for taking a stand even though it cost you income.
I totally agree with you Mean is UGLY.
Dave - Jen,
I just signed up to facebook ( I never had a need before) just to send you a big thank you for what you did.
If I ever need some pics taken, I’ll call you.
And “avarage joe” just go away, you are NOT average.
Keep doing what you are doing, jen.
It’s the right thing.
John - Thank you for having the courage to put principals before profit. I’m sure in the long run you are going to get much more out of your actions than those shoots were worth.
DS - Hello Jen! First off, Ignore “Average Joe” – He can’t be serious – he’s probably trolling. Anyway, as an aspiring photographer, I look up to what you did – Have no shame on your decision. I totally respect your personal thoughts and what you stand for, your intentions, etc. “Mean is Ugly” – that is a phrase that will stick with me until I can’t shoot anymore. I’ve never been bullied but I, too, hate to witness what they do. Thanks for the inspiring words
Cheryl FM - @AverageJoe – her “fucking job” is her own business. She absolutely has the right to decide what clients she works with, aside from the legally protected classes. “Cruel people” aren’t a legally protected class, so she’s in the clear. She wasn’t judging society at large. She was judging the actions of a handful of would-be clients as being people she didn’t need or want as clients. She took a stand against cruelty. On what planet can this possibly be a negative thing?
I hope you’re simply a troll, as otherwise, you are in dire need of therapy, a hug, and a puppy. (And when that’s done, you might also benefit from a thesaurus, as only porn stars and prostitutes have “fucking jobs”.)
Cheryl FM - Good for you! I saw the article on Huffington Post, and it’s being tossed around my facebook news feed. Thank you for taking a stand against bullying, and making the world a bit better.
Zippers - @Average Joe – The reason the world is so fucked up is because we have people like you like you who think no one has a right to be a “moral compass”. EVERYONE has that right, and everyone should use it, and few people have the balls to do so.
I applaud you, Jen.
Ginny - Congratulations Jen, you set a wonderful example for everyone. I agree, any kind of bullying is UGLY. God Bless you for standing up for those who can’t defend themselves.
Fae - I have nothing more to say than… Awesome.
Danette Kay - Thank you Jen! As a mom of children who have been bullied in the past from school peers (now home-schooled) I appreciate those who speak up for these children! Applauds and Hugs to you! xox
Barb ferguson - Pay it forward! If just one more person follows your lead and one more and so on it will be a blessing for all of those that have been bullied and had no voice.!
I’m seventy four and I still wince when I remember the names I was called. Not by enemies but thoughtless kids who never gave it a second thought.
You have integrity. You have grace and yes, you are a brave small business..
Sarah - There is always room for improvement – event he person critiquing needs to improve in some way. Your clients choose you as their photographer because they enjoy your work. It doesn’t matter if someone else believes doing things differently would improve your work. What matters is how you and your clients feel.
That being said, it is possible to learn from critiques. They’re not personal attacks (and if they are, they’re not critiques and you can promptly ignore what they say because they don’t matter).
I truly applaud you for taking a stand.
Averge Joe - Just do your fucking job. Who gave you the right to judge society? You will delete this because you don’t have the courage to face the truth. Your judgment of right and wrong is not without question. Who decided you to be the moral compass of a community? Look deep inside yourself. You don’t have the right to be a moral compass!
MountainSage - You are absolutely correct….mean is ugly. I applaud you for standing by your convictions and thank you for helping in your way to make at least one little corner of the world a better place. Bullying should NEVER be tolerated and you took a stand. Thank you!
Kara May - You are wonderful and real – inside & out
Alex - Just read about this and wanted to add my “Like.” What a brave thing for a small business owner to take a stand and risk losing more business. I admire your integrity and I hope you receive many blessings in return. I’m sure you helped make the victim(s) of the bullies feel stronger just knowing someone cared enough to take a stand. All the best to you!
Barb Schrader - Yes! A young person with integrity. You go girl and thank you!
amanda ondo - Your blog actually brought tears to my eyes. Y? Because you stood up for what you believe in and you defended people you didn’t even know were affected by this. At the same time you found yourself in a whirlwind. Just know that you have succeeded in something that most people aren’t able to do in a whole lifetime…. that something is being you! Not hiding who you really are! You did something more than stand up to bullies… you have shown a strength that many people will hold close and learn from! Don’t ever think what you do is subpar! There is nothing…. and I mean nothing about you that even remotely whispers that! Great job Jen! You keep helping people record their special days and keep growing from every experience!
Candace - I posted on your Facebook wall but also wanted to read your blog firsthand. I admire what you did and hope you receive much more business than you lost. You are principled and that is rare anymore, sadly. At least you have made the girls’ parents aware and maybe they can either get their daughters help or intervene themselves so that they don’t grow up to be as horrible adults as they are teens.
stacey steen - hey jen, stacey here. i was bullied from k-12th grade. it made me sad, but also made me try harder at life and be stronger, only by God, of course!! it is one of the reasons i am home schooling Gunnar and Sophie, to try and eliminate some of the bullying that can be a hinderance in their learning. i was talking to your mom today…keep up the good work!
Tina - Don’t be overwhelmed by all of this…you seem like a wonderful, happy, down-to-earth person with great friends and a beautiful little girl. You stood up for what is RIGHT and GOOD. You should just carry on….you’re the best.
Don Wise - Jen, I saw your story online, in passing, and wanted to stop in, thank you for this gift and say that leadership is not always easy…it’s important to do what’s right, not what’s easy. Let the beauty we love become the good we do. You’ve done ‘good’.
Matthew - Good for you Jen! Very classy move!
Matthew in Cali.
Norm Bowler - The good news is that the brief flash of fame and scrutiny won’t last; things will be back to normal soon. The other good news is that you will make a thousand beneficial connections in this moment, and will bank a buttload of goodwill. Some of that *will* last! The other other good news is that the Internet told you something you didn’t know: You have a tribe. Here we are.
Welcome.
nb
Sam Tutton - Personally I only liked your page after I’d had a good look around. I liked what I saw. I’m a photographer also but our styles are completely different. Don’t feel pressured to show your images. You tell the story your way, thats why I for one am a new “liker”
Michelle - Hi Jen. i am also one of the new “likes”. and it seems that you had a good upbringing, simply put- my mom always says,”If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything”. seeing this statement aligned with your business, makes me think that you made a very good choice for your career and your family.
Michelle - I was thrilled to read about what you did. I wouldn’t want to spend time with mean-spirited girls either. I commend you for turning down their business. You are an inspiration and a great example for all of us to follow. THANK YOU!
Michelle - I was THRILLED to read about what you did. I wouldn’t want to spend time with such mean-spirited girls either. I commend you for turning down their business. You are an inspiration to us all. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a feeling your business will only improve after this. Nobody likes mean people.
Beth - Just keep in mind, Jen… many businesses have a sign that reads: “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.” You are within your rights as a business owner and are part of a national wave to stop bullying. I applaud you!!!
What you stood up for and to, could very well have saved someone’s life… given them the reinforcement to believe in themselves, because “someone” they didn’t know, stepped in and took action. The trickle down effect is a wonderful thing! (As seen in Pay It Forward)
Don’t let the “notoriety” change you. But I sure hope that your actions change others. Keep on being YOU!!
Christian - Okay. I’m sure you’ve been completely overloaded with comments and such. But, I still want to tell you how much I respect what you did. Doing what’s right is not the easiest way. You’ve taught a lot of people that you still can.
Your photography is beautiful and you’ll continue to do great as your work speaks for itself and you’ve taken a stand and spoken from your heart!
Lauren - I’ve been following this story from the beginning and you’re doing the RIGHT thing. It’s your business and YES your opinion DOES count in YOUR business. And if someone doesn’t like it, that’s not really your problem, it’s theirs. So proud of you, Jen. Just another reason why I think you’re so awesome. =D
Mitzi - I really love the stand you took against bullying. Bullying is cruel and potentially harmful. I wish you a completely full schedule in your business. I was bullied in school and felt like no one cared about it. Now, at 39, I detest bullying in any form. You’re an incredible person and I truthfully wish I knew you personally.
Mitzi
John McVey - Thank you for taking a stand against bullying. It shows that one person can make a difference. I was so moved when I read the article about what you did to take a stand against bullying. Most people wouldn’t even be that brave. Thank you for making a difference!
John
Kate P. - Way to go! What a great, civil gesture to make in what is sometimes such a mean, ugly world. And look at the ripple effect you have caused and will continue to cause. I truly hope others will learn from your actions and see how they can take stands against hateful behavior in their own lives.
shari - Hi Jen – I just wanted to thank you for taking a stand and doing what’s right instead of taking the easy road and just doing the shoot. I wish there were more people who would speak up and out about what is acceptable behavior. And for having the guts to contact the parents.
Jodi - I live in Florida and a friend of mine from Maryland posted the link to the article/news broadcast and I couldn’t help but click on it. I wish that there were more people like you in this world! It amazes me at how so many people have absolutely no problem with be heartless and cruel to those around them.
You did an amazing thing and should be proud of yourself. You didn’t let money or anyone else get in the way of what you thought was right. I hope that more people will follow your lead and stand up to all of the bullies out there.
Anthony - You have done a great thing. I hope it catches on and spreads like wildfire. Keep u;p the good work…
Stephanie @ 50toesphoto - Just had to stop by your webspace and say, “Thank you”! I love what you stand for and love to see a fellow photographer with high morals and values! It is my daily goal to impart these values and principles to my own children and have faith that they will stand for the right – even when it’s hard.
Ken White - I’m a photographer from Easton, PA and I admire your decision not to photograph those bullies (I saw it on Huffington). Hopefully they will be shocked by your refusal and will take a look at how they’ve been behaving. It’s always hard to turn down business but you did and you did it for a great reason. Way to go. I like your photos, by the way. Great stuff.
Kelly - Hi Jen, I am yet another person who came across an article online about your refusal to photograph bullyers. It says so much about your character that you are willing to turn away business for something that you feel strongly about. I am 29 yrs old and have a 16-month old son, and when I think about the children treat eachother lately, it terrifies me. I can only hope with all my heart that things improve by the time I have to send my son off to school, although it seems that things only get worse every year. It is always good to know that there are people like you out there who don’t turn a blind eye to bullying and are willing to take action. You may not feel like what you did is a big deal, but it has obviously caught a lot of attention and maybe others will follow in your footsteps. Thank you for being such a good person, it seems like such a simple thing, but good people are becoming harder and harder to come by!
Vangie - Kudos to you from Austin, Texas! You should be proud of yourself for starting the conversation about bullying. I am always telling my kids “If WE see something is not right and WE don’t say anything then WE ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!”…
Anne - Jen –
First of all, kudos to you!! While I’d like to think we’d all take a stand against something that we felt was wrong/mean/unjust, I have a feeling if it was going to cause a loss of income (in your case, your deposits), we might think twice and keep our mouths shut, especially with the economy as bad as it is today. Which makes what you did even more awesome.
I would not look at all the new ‘likers’ as potential critics (in a bad sense) of your work…..look at them as potential collaborators. You may pick up some helpful hints or tips from any comments that may be posted. And…… if anything mean is posted, well, that’s what the delete button is for.
Anne
Pittsburgh
Laura Comito - All it takes is a pebble in a pond to create a ripple. You did just that by simply saying no. That is huge and I am glad I read your story on Huff Post. I recently blogged about adult bullying in my community. http://laura-comito.blogspot.com/2011/08/what-is-happening-to-us.html
You are right mean is ugly.
Amber - I saw your story on CNN and I just wanted to tell you that I among many others am very proud of what you chose to do. In the economic times we are in it is not exactly heard of for a company to do that. I personally think you did more than the right thing, and I hope it helped those girls feel ashamed and embarrassed for what they did. I also hope it bring you more business, although I know that was not your motive. Very big props!
Leiha - I am a high school teacher and photographer…I just wanted to say “thank you” for your help in the stand against bullying! Now, if everyone else would follow….NICE! Thanks again, you ROCK!!!
Amanda - Love, love, love this!!!! Double high five to you Jen! There needs to be more people like you in this world – Thank you for sharing this <3
facie - Jen: You are to be commended. If nothing else, you have touched the lives of many who have been bullied. Maybe a few of those people will start to stand up for others if they have not already. And hopefully what you did will cause a few of the bullies to think twice. Best of luck.
Kathy - I too am a photographer and I applaud you for what you did and for what you stand for. In this economy with it so hard to even get a little extra work it is commendable that you would stick up for someone else. I was bullied from kindergarden through high school, I refuse to go to reunions because who wants to see the people that tried so hard to make life misreable and usually succeded. I hope the parents of the girls you sent letters to take care of the situation…….likely they will not….but I hope they do. I don’t know if it was you or somewhere else that I read that mean is ugly….I agree 100%. And if anyone who was targeted by these girls reads this just remember what goes around comes around…..you just have to be patient and wait for it to happen. and I promise you will see it happen!!!!
stacey - saint? ugh – waaaay too much baggage comes with that. honourable & ethical – yep, that’s easier to live out. having been in customer service for most of my life, i know that i have the right to refuse to deal with a customer and for reasons better than i just don’t like a hot pink zebra print she might be wearing.
it’s your business and you manage it to the best way you see fit. you have to live with yourself and if you aren’t comfortable with these clients you have the right to remove yourself from that situation. lawyers do it all the time – the difference is that you told the world why
the world needs to change and people need to understand that cruel behaviour isn’t an acceptable practice. sometimes all it takes is one person to begin a grassroots movement to make others take notice and take a stand en masse.
good for you again – the people who understand respect you more for it. so, go have an awesome day, enjoy the football game and do more of what you love!
Janet - Jen, I only know you through this blog and through your pictures. I have looked at your pictures, read your blog and you are a wonderful person, just be yourself and “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”. If you start paying attention to everyone else and changing yourself because of them you would no longer be you and if that happened the world would loose a wonderful person. Keep doing what your doing and be YOU!!!
Jenna Belle - Thank you for standing up for what is right and taking a public stance against something so ugly and, unfortunately prevalent in our society. You set a wonderful example and I hope that others will follow your lead and take similar measures to show that mean and harassing words will not get you anywhere in this world. Thanks again.
Debbi M - Hi, I just liked a posted a positive comment on FB earlier today because I am one of the apparent many who admire your stand. After reading this entry on your blog I had to send you this message because you have impressed me so much. Your humility is commendable but just think of what your action has spurred. You took a considerable risk, turned away revenue and made a statement that is not always the norm in this superficial society where mean is enouraged on reality shows and horribly prsent in politics. Very contraversial but guess what we discovered? The majority of people are kinder and less superficial than the media portays them. Our youth today needs positive heroes and my dear, you are a positive hero! Continue to take the high road no matter what a few detractors may say. I hope your life gets back to normal but I hope ours does not. I hope we all remember you when we have to make choices.
Casie - Good for you! I love to read when people take a stand! I wish more people would! Thank you for being a role model!
Lorrie - I want to say Thank You formall of the girls and boys in this world that have been and are being bullied. What you did should be commended! Having had first hand experience of being bullied when I was a young teen I wish there was someone like you to stand up for me. Keep up the good work!
Mary Stevenson - Hi Jen,
Because you went viral, it reached me in New Brunswick, Canada.
I’m very proud of what you stood up for. I am a mother of 3 daughers and each one of them have experienced bullying one way or another. I myself, was bullied when I was a teen as well.
It takes courage to stand up, and take action on what you believe in. I’m very proud of you. And I hope Anti-bullying will continue to spread through out the world.
All the best. Your pictures are beautiful
Sincerely, Mary Stevenson
Katie - Another new liker here – and no worries, I think most of us aren’t elevating you to sainthood (at least not just for that post) – it’s just refreshing to see someone do the right thing and I’m GLAD it got such great publicity! You know your 5 minutes of internet fame won’t last, but you have made a difference in the lives of students and other photographers who may now be more likely to take a stand. Best of luck to you, you do some great work and I know you’ll surely succeed even more than you have
Lerin - I agree with that first comment… don’t let the “going viral” scare you! You really did something good, and it was a breath of fresh air to a lot of us who are tired of seeing bad behavior spotlighted. I think it is awesome that you took a stand, not based on money, but based on your integrity. No one is perfect in life or business, but you did something very good and you need to let us be proud of you! <3
I'm sorry not everyone agrees, but you are 100% correct: When they have a business, they can run it how they like. I prefer to work with people who have integrity and courage, so I would choose you every time. And yes… your work is lovely too!!
Amanda B. - I completely support you.. I think what you did was wonderful. You made a stand! You are confident, talented, and strong-willed. I think we all have a long way to go until we think we’re the “bee’s knees”, but you know what? You never know it when you get there. So keep doing your thing, and know that you have a strong backing of a few *thousand* behind you! We’re not here to intimidate you or be critical.. we believe in you!
Sharee - My dear, go on with your life as normal! Don’t feel you have to be start doing something you don’t want to do. Your ability to just be you is what is inspiring. You did something that suddenly went viral. Don’t let the viral scare you. Just continue and be glad that you had a moment to make a difference in thousands of lives. I checked out your photography and personality and your personality is infectious. It inspired me to be more real with who I am.
Thank you.
Gail Brazeau - Hi Jen,
You don’t know me but I am one of your new “likers” after I read your blog yesterday. I’m not a photographer, just a Mom. And yes, unfortunately I have had first hand experience with bullying. That’s why after reading your response to all the attention you have recieved, I felt compeled to send you a personal message. I totally understand that we all have our own opinions and that’s ok. I have to say though, that I am shocked and horrified that some people disagree with what you have done. I think it is absolutely awesome. You have touched my heart and made me realize that maybe there are more good and kind people in this world than I knew. That gives me a little sense of peace and hope that my children can have a better experience than I did. It also gives me some courage to make a stand myself.
You are a beautiful person and I can’t thank you enough for what you have done. Embrace the attention that is coming your way. You are making an impact on so many people. It is truly awesome.
Sincerely,
Gail Brazeau
P.S. Your photography is beautiful too!!
Lauren - In planning my wedding I have found the best product is not always the best service. I know that I have selected to work with not the best because they are nicer, have a better connection with me, and get it. I think more people will choose to use your services even if you know there are people better than you out there. Major kudos to you.
Rene Blazek - I posted comments on my wall but I want to share with you another story.. My son hated to go to school. He had friends that were black and was constantly called a “wigger” ..wanna be nigger.. I actually let him be home schooled because it was such a struggle to get him there plus he was leaving school. Who would think there would be such hate in our small town? The culprits were some football players and other “popular” kids.
To this day he doesn’t speak to those people.
Thanks for taking a stand.
I don’t know you personally but I am proud of you!
Vivian - People who are critical of your decision might be dealing with their own issues. I agree with Eileen, be yourself and everything will fall into place. As a counselor working with young women who have body image issues and histories of abuse from bullying, I am humbled and amazed by your actions. As a mother I am thankful for women like you who are making change for the better. Thanks
Peggy H - Your opinion has every place in this business!! Not every photographer is for every client and vice versa! We as artists, business owners, and humans have the right to stay away from things that make us uncomfortable!! You are awesome in my book and I applaud you… Keep on blogging! And for sure keep on photographing everything beautiful!
Heather S. - I think your photography is beautiful ^_^ I wish I’d've found you before March, I would have contacted you about doing my wedding portraits (cause then I would have gotten some – haha!).
Basically, just keep on keeping on…you do what you do best, and all that jazz. The way I figure it, you’re only under a microscope if you let yourself be. Just because everyone might be watching is no reason to change up how you’ve done things previously. Within a few months, hopefully, the only lingering effect will be that others might look up to an example that you set and allow their heart and mind to weigh more than their pocketbook.
Keep up the GREAT work!
Eileen - Just continue to be yourself. That’s really all that matters in the whole scheme of things. Best of luck.
Jenny - Jen,
Your photos are beautiful, don’t you doubt that! I don’t expect you to be superhuman or perfect. You are a gal with a big heart and, in an age of money over all, you made a courageous and right decision that for a small businesswoman must have been a very financially difficult choice to make.
A lot of people would have simply said to themselves, “Well the check cleared so I guess I’ll just go ahead and do the portraits.”
The seniors to whose parents you refunded the money are old enough to know better and have likely never been called to account for their (her) behaviors. It’s a good life lesson for the individuals in question AND you’ve given your child a very good role model for integrity and morals… even if you did forget to feed her for a while.
Christine Barker - I got to the part of your post that says “I mean, photographers that I look up to and that are 1000x times better than I’ll EVER be were commenting and sharing my link. ” and I had to stop and point out how incredibly STUNNING you ARE… not EVER going to be… ARE!!! What you do is associated with who you are… your photos talk while you are allowed to use no words. Your actions scream… and so does your photography! It says that your beauty has always been where you are having problems seeing it. I look up to you, what you wrote… and what you have done in your photography. I think you may want to understand that YOUR inner beauty is the exact same thing that you are looking up to in the other photographers you hold so high.
Mandy - Just wanted to say hey and you go girl! You have a good head on your shoulders have a very strong work ethic and stand up for what you believe in and think is right. I admire who you are and I am proud to call you my friend. None of us are perfect and many of us feel like (insert sarcasm) mother or person of the year.
Pam McLellan-Zmija - I read your post and it warmed my heart, I reinforce to my children almost daily about good behaviour and manners. Kudos to you for standing up to those mean girls and advising their parents!