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best friends & solid lines | blairsville, pa photography | personal

By November 7, 2010 4 Comments

Bear with me…..it’s late and I don’t know if I’m making any sense. I tend to babble……I’m a babbler, I get side tracked and ….see I’m babbling.

She’s a solid line…..let me explain.

I recently attended a training -the purpose of this training was to help those understand the “hidden rules” in each social class and to better understand how people in different social classes think. I’ve mentioned before on my blog that I didn’t come from a rich family–the complete opposite if we’re being honest. I had teenage parents who struggled their whole lives to give my sister and I a good life. So it struck a chord in me when the speaker, Ruby Payne explained the solid lines, dotted line and no line theory.  She explained that those who work hard to build themselves a better life and into the next social class often times have to give up some things in order to reach their goal-for me it was building my photography business. Since there is only 24 hours in each day and you must make the most out of those hours we often fill our days with productive, encouraging and supportive activities AND PEOPLE.  She explained that we mentally draw lines to the relationships we have. For example, we mentally draw a solid line to those who we are SURE will support and encourage us in our journey to reach our goal. We mentally draw dotted lines to those who “may” support us in our journey and draw NO line to those who we know will hold us back. Those lines determine the relationships we have with people. We foster the solid lines, keep in contact with the dotted lines but let go of the lines that don’t exists. Over this past year I have let go of the people who fall into the “no line” category (those who were crabs in the bucket constantly trying to pull you back down with them) and I have tried my best to foster my solid lines. Erin…..she is my solid line.

You know those people who come into your life when you least expect it…that you truly believe were MEANT to be there–I’m very fortunate to a handful of them in my life, one of them is my dear friend Erin. We met in college, while we both worked at Fashion Bug. She had been transfered from a store in Michigan when she decided to go to IUP. I’ll never forget the first day our worlds collided. She was tall and skinny-I wasn’t, she talked funny because she was from Michigan-I wasn’t (inside joke) and she was on track to go to law school-I wasn’t. We couldn’t have been more than opposite but you know that saying, “opposites attract”. Soon we found out we had lots in common, including both of us having serious relationships and since she was so far from home (6 hours) my family became her adopted family and we ended up spending ALOT of time together. She was the first one I told when I thought I was pregnant, she was the one who fainted in the gym after stepping out of the sauna (no kidding–face flat on the floor), she was the one who almost got kicked out of the bar (haha) and now 6 years after we’ve graduated and she’s moved back to Michigan, I see her more often that I do some of my local friends. We may not talk every day, but when we do, we pick right back up where we left off. She usually makes fun of my Pennsyltucky accent (it’s school not schWEL)and I make fun of hers. She’s graduated from law school and is now a professor at her local college and I couldn’t be more proud of her……and happy that I have best friend that’s a lawyer–LOOK OUT!! lol

She was there when I was unsure what I wanted to do with my life, she was there when I began to dabble in photography-I mean, I drug her out to local parks and used her for a model for my college photography classes, and she was there during some of the most devastating times of my life. I will never forget her for that.

She met me in the drive way that night and sat with me until the sun came up. We said nothing—we just sat there-on the couch-in the dark-sobbing. As soon as she got the phone call that my sister had died she came. She sat and she cried….with me! I was broken…..and she helped piece me back together.  Fast forward a year when Mallory was born and we didn’t know if she would live. She layed in the NICU unit in Pittsburgh and again, she showed up…and she stayed with me and reassured me she’d be ok. So when I say I have one of THOSE friends, I mean I have one of THOSE friends. The kind of friend that lives hundreds of miles away and still makes time to come visit-even when I haven’t had the time to make my trip out there, the kind of friend who will jump in her car, drive 6 hours at the drop of a dime when something goes wrong…… and the kind of friend who stays in on a Saturday night to carve pumpkins and decorate cupcakes with me and my daughter instead of going out,  I have one of THOSE!

So in keeping with my ” I’m thankful for” posts……I’m thankful for life long—QUALITY FRIENDS……and solid lines! 🙂

 

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4 Comments

  • Dena says:

    Jen,
    What a perfect blog!! So few people in this life are blessed with one of THOSE friends! I believe I was also! God bless you both and I hope that friendship continues untill you are sitting on the porch woth your Great great crandchildren! I cant thank you enough for posting this tonight and reminding me how blessed I am!

  • Jodi says:

    what a sweet tribute! i have a friend like that. the first day we met, first day of college, i looked at her and said i would never be friends with someone like that. by the end of freshman year we were both crying because she decided to not return to school. a month later i’m dropping out of rooming arrangement to get an apartment with her and that was it. i was with her when she got married and had her first baby. she was with me when my stepmom was dying of cancer. those kinds of friends are precious and so important. hope you and your friends have a great time in Ireland!

  • Katie Moore says:

    What a great tribute. Those friends are rare and are a great treasure to have. I have a beautiful friend since high school like that. We may not talk for a few months and when we do talk it is as though we haven’t missed a thing.

  • […] 27, 2011 Posted in Travel Over the next week, I will be out gallivanting around Ireland with my best friend Erin, her husband and my main squeeze Greg. This means that I will have very limited access to they […]

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