I wrote a blog a month or two ago that talked about all the things I learned about being a “self employed” business owner. I was only roughly a few weeks into it when I posted the blog but I wrote about the Random Realities of Being Self Employed. It was more tongue in cheek really, I mean I talked about such things like how your boss is awesome (which is true..haha), about how you can sleep in, how you talk to yourself and answer your self because you have no co-workers to chat with. For those of you who don’t know, I recently quit my full time day job to pursue my dream of being a full time photographer. As exciting as it sounds that I’m following my dream and ultimately getting paid to do what I love, it also comes with a lot of accountability and responsibilities.I mean, I *AM* my own boss and if my business fails it’s *MY* fault, I can’t share the blame with a co-worker or a supervisor….it’s my fault.
With that said, I recently made a decision that I know could ultimately create backlash for what I’ve decided….and honestly, I don’t care! The really cool thing-(even among all the scary things of owning a business) is that you can make decisions without having to go through the hierarchy of people. On a whim yesterday after seeing something that was so appalling, I decided I was going to email some of my clients to tell them “I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos”.
Let me explain. Last night I posted on Facebook the following: “If I’m wrong, please speak up. I came across a page on Facebook that was created (by someone under a fictitious name) thats purpose is to bully, ridicule and say mean and hurtful things about their class mates. While visiting the page, I found several teenage girls that have scheduled sessions with me for their senior pictures. I am emailing them tomorrow to cancel their shoots. I do not want them to represent my business and I am beside myself at how MEAN and CRUEL they were on that page.” As I was drafting the email that I was going to send out to the clients my phone was blowing up with comments.
Now I realize it’s going to be hard to know that every person that ever contacts me isn’t a bully, I understand that…but in this specific instance it was right in front of my face. I saw it with my own eyes..it wasn’t hear say, it was right there..with their smiling face right beside such an ugly statement. I couldn’t forget about it, I mean how I could spend 2 hours with someone during our session trying to take beautiful photos of them knowing they could do such UGLY things. Realistically, I know by canceling their shoots it’s not going to make them “nicer people” but I refuse to let people like that represent my business.
This morning I sent out 4 emails to those clients while CC’ing in their parents explaining WHY I was canceling their shoots. I also included screen shots of the comments they made. They couldn’t deny it, I had the picture of what they said. I informed them that I’d be sending their deposits back and that they’d have to find another photographer. So far, I have received two emails back from their parents that claimed (I’m paraphrasing) they were shocked that this had happened. They apologized that their child acted in such a way and that they would deal with the matter. So far I haven’t received any backlash but I’m ready for it. I’m a small business owner and I have the luxury of making that decision. If you are ugly on the inside, I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos to make you look pretty on the outside!
I’m not going to give a big speech that says how wrong or uncool it is…because let’s face it, you are seniors you should know better. I’m not trying to save the world of bullies or trying to start a movement. I simply don’t want to photograph ugly people!
To all of you who commented or “liked” the status… It’s heart warming to know that you support my decision.
Thank YOU!
*** updated 8/25/11: For those of you reading this for the first time, here is a follow up blog post that may answer any questions you may have: https://jenmckenphoto.com/blog/2011/08/25/just-to-clarify-not-shooting-ugly-people-indiana-county-pa-photographer-personal/
*** updated 8/16/12: One year later, what I learned about going viral: https://jenmckenphoto.com/2012/08/what-i-learned-about-going-viral-jen-mcken-photographer/
((slow clap))
You did the right thing, Jen.
Jen, You did the right thing. I came across those pages on facebook and was extremely disgusted. Children are taking things to the extremes today with bullying and trying to act powerful. Its a shame.
Bravo, Jen. It’ll be interesting to see if you do get any backlash. Some parents may not want to see the ugliness in their own children, or turn a blind eye. But I’m hopeful they’ll take a stand as you did and make sure they know that their actions won’t go unpunished. Keep us updated.
I am so incredibly proud of you, Jen. There is no doubt in my mind that I would’ve done the same exact thing.
Thank you for standing up in what you believe in. I commend you and I would be appalled at anyone who found fault with your decision!
From someone who throughout middle school and highschool never felt smart enough, cool enough, pretty enough, important enough and never felt like she fit in, thank you. Individual’s bullying comments during this time only validated for me my low low self esteem and opinion of myself. It took years for me to overcome this. Although other circumstances also contributed to my feeling like this I never want another child, youth or teen to dread going to school, to feel like they are not good enough or not worthy enough, or to cry themselves to sleep everynight. I am so proud that someone from my graduating class has stood up to take a stand against bullying and you should be extemely proud of yourself as well. Morals over money is such an incredibly statement and I commend you for that.
I truly admire you for taking a stand! If everyone could have the guts to stand up for what they believe in, this world would be a better place. Kudos!
You go girl!
I commend you on your true understanding of how people should treat each other. It’s not about who might take the best pictures but about who is going to represent us and who we want to be. You did the right thing here. I pray that God provides for you in doing so. I hope if I ever come across this situation I am brave enough to make the same choice. You are officially my hero!
LOVE IT! way to follow your heart even knowing there is the possibility of backlash. 🙂
I admire you as well, and I second all the comments left here! Other business owners could learn something from you!!
Good for you!
Bravo! I’m sure it was hard for you to make the final decision that standing up for what you feel is the right thing to do is worth more than keeping those clients. Sadly, I know that it would’ve been hard for me to make that decision.
Perhaps if more people stood up for the things they believe, we wouldn’t have so much bullying. Perhaps those kids will learn a very valuable lesson from this experience.
Little things can make BIG differences! Amazing! I’m just getting started with seniors, but I will follow your example if the situation presents itself. Thank you for sharing <3
I fully agree. People take things way to far and this “cyber” bulling is getting way out of hand. Bravo for having morals and not waiting vicious ugly people representing your business. Very few instill there values in there business and it is truly refreshing that you do!
I think you did the absolute right thing. Way to go!!
I applaud you. You did the right thing in this situation. Those children need to learn from this.
I hope that the bullied students that you stood up for see/ hear about what you did. Sometimes all it take is knowing that one stranger sees the injustice, to provide the bullied with courage to move past a victim mentality and realize that their worth is in no way tied to what “ugly” people say about them.
Right on, Jen! You did the right thing. I think you’ll reap more benefits from doing the right thing than backlash!
~ingrid
Good for you! I truly hope there is no backlash…it would be very sad if there is.
way to make a statement! i hope that those girls learned a lesson. it’s so sad to see bullying happen and the devastating consequences!
I haven’t even looked at your photos yet and I already know your awesome!
Good for you! Very well written.
Wow! That is awesome. As a business owner by cancelling their photo shoot you are cutting into your own fiances. I applaud you for taking a stand, and not worrying about what it might do to you. (well i’m sure you are worrying about it, but the fact that it didn’t stop you!)
Good for you! And I’m so happy you sent all of that to their parents. Kids can be so nasty… I’m happy you wouldn’t photgraph them!
Way to go! I think what you did is awesome & I think the emails copying the parents is great too. So many people bully online because they have perceived anonymity. I’m glad this is showing the girls that there ARE consequences.
This is a wonderful blog! I agree with you 100%!!!!!!
Awesome! You definitely did the right thing and I hope that you receive more business than you previously had.
Really, BRAVO! I dealt with that stuff in high school, and whether it gets around school (as things tend to do), this will mean a lot to the classmates that were being bullied. It shows a LOT about who YOU are as a person, and a business owner. It shows that you’re not just in this profession for money. You have your heart, and your beliefs in it, as well. THAT, my dear, will get you more business in the end.
And Nikki’s right, you should be proud. If I were anywhere NEAR Pennsylvania, you’d get my business, even if, just for this.
I applaud you for standing up for what you believe in.
There is nothing more refreshing than seeing an individual standing up for what they believe in. This just goes to show that there are more important things out there than money. Bravo + Kudos to you Jen.
This is a step in a direction that this country so needs – towards civility. Good for you for standing up for your principles in a professional manner.
WOW, good for you, and fantastic for CC’ing their parents. Great post.
Excellent. Good for you!
I commend you for taking a stand. I hope that you get even more business because of it.
Hear hear, I commend you for taking a stand that was 1) financially disadvantageous, and 2) could garner backlash. I wish you only success in your business and hope that the good you did today will be revisited on you ten fold tomorrow.
Congratulations on such an amazing decision. You did a great thing by cancelling their sessions and also making their parents aware of what they’d done.
Honestly I wasn’t sure what I was going to read when I saw the title of this but I am 100% impressed. GREAT WORK!!
You are getting nothing my applause from me!!!! GOOD CALL!
What you’ve done is so commendable. I’m so glad there are people like you who are willing to stand up for what is decent and right. I wish you much success.
I admire you SO MUCH for taking a stand against bullying, and taking the time to notify their parents (with proof) as well. I was a victim of bullying in middle school, and I still have confidence issues as an adult because of it. This will mean SO much to the student or students who were being bullied. Bravo!
You should be proud of yourself. Kudos!!!
Thank you, for being an example that is sorely needed in a nation of news hounds, fame seekers, and horrid people. If only every person could stand upon their principles as you have. I know you will be successful beyond your wildest imaginings.
Bravo to you! More people need to take a stand against bullying. Thank you.
Wow. I’m very impressed that you made this decision even though it meant less income for you. I hope that you will be blessed through this process!
Thank you for taking a stand. I believe you did the right thing too! I hope it made a difference in the lives of these girls too.
I’m really impressed with your decision. You did the honorable thing, and while it runs the risk of harming your future business (mean girls are good at talking) I’m so proud of you for standing up for your beliefs! And I wouldn’t be surprised if good things come to your business from this as well.
Additionally, I expect at least two of those girls will be given good reason to rethink their behavior, and if your stand can have a positive change on even one life … you can consider it a job well done.
The thing I find disturbing (besides the bullying) is that you only heard from 2 of the parents.
GOOD FOR YOU!! That is an awesome thing for you to do! bullying is wrong! I cant imagine you would have any backlash, except from the teenagers themselves. I commend you for standing up for something you believe is right! GOOD JOB! I wish more of the world would stand up to behavior like this!
*slow, sustained clapping*
You ROCK!! Way to go Jen!! What you “lost” by refusing their sessions, will come back to you and then some for the great deed you have done!! 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration! <3