I haven’t done a total randomness blog in quite some time-so here goes:

I’m not perfect…………

My mind is all over the place today. When I get like this I literally shut down…..and my brain goes to mush! The gray days don’t help and on most days I just want to lay in the fetal position and sleep all day. This feeling isn’t uncommon for some people. It can be nice to stay in bed all day and relax, especially when you’re having a tough day. With a comfortable mattress, reviewed on websites like https://simplyrest.com/best-mattress/, people can find themselves sleeping all day. Some days, sleeping all day can be the best thing to do when you feel like this. The creativity feels like it’s being sucked out of my body and handed to someone else in a pretty little package with a bright shiny bow with polka dots (because polka dots are awesome and fun)!

While I’m being honest….let’s just lay it all out there!!

I like to make lists and some times I like to make lists because if I make lists than that means I don’t actually have to DO that thing that overwhelms me…instead I can stare at it on a piece of paper and give it dirty looks.

Sometimes when Greg talks to me, I pretend I am listening. It’s not that what he’s saying isn’t interesting, it is and most of the time it’s vital information-you know, like, I put the electric bill in your purse it’s due by tomorrow, or I’m coming home late so you’ll have to make sure you’re here to get Mallory off the bus. But sometimes, my mind is just swarming with to-do lists, timelines or other useless nonsense that it’s just easier to PRETEND I’m listening. Most of the time I can get away with it…that is until it requires that I actually have to participate in the conversation. THEN….I’m screwed. That leads to dirty looks and snide remarks from Greg along the lines of, “I ALREADY told you that, don’t you remember?” News flash…no i don’t remember, because I probably wasn’t listening. I use to tell people, if you could screw off the top of my head and look inside…you’d be scared….very…very…scared!! Do you see why I like my lists?!

Keeping with the “my mind is all over the place notion” how about I mixed my days up yesterday and now I think I’m the “mother of the year!” I knew that there is no school for our students on Monday, Jan 16th and I even wrote it typed it in my calender. So when this Sunday rolled around, I thought to myself, “YESSSSSS!!!! I get to sleep in a bit longer tomorrow because Mallory doesn’t have school”. I went to bed late that night and even let Mallory stay up a bit later…because she didn’t have school. Earlier in the morning, I remember waking up to the sound of the bus brakes in front of my house but it didn’t register and I rolled over to continue my slumber..haha! Later in the morning we took our good’ol time getting ready, eating breakfast and eventually I ventured out to my office. She asked if she could go knock on the neighbors door to see if Natalie was home. She promptly came back over with a smirk on her face and said, “her Dad is so silly. He says she’s in school!!”. I looked up from my computer and said, “OMG, Mallory go get your shoes and book bag”. She looked at me like I had 3 heads. It wasn’t until RIGHT THEN AND THERE, I remembered hearing the bus brakes. OMG she DID have school!! haha! So we rushed around and got her to school sometime before lunch! I had mixed up my Monday’s…..sighhhh!!

Sometimes I look at the work I produce and I think….”I suck, I can’t believe people payed me to do that, I’m horrible……what is so special about THAT? I’m hard on myself, I over analyze shoots and make them way more complicated that they need to be (in my mind)! This usually results in a glass….or FIVE of wine. I don’t have a wine cooler in my studio for nothing! Once, at a previous job, I was the single person responsible for running a Drug and Alcohol Prevention program that was going to run for the VERY first time the next day. I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking, what if I screw this up, what if it sucks-it’s going to be ALLLLL my fault. The irony…..I drank a whole bottle of wine myself to help me sleep. It worked! PS: the program went FANTASTIC!

I use to be able to multi-task. HAHAHA…I have no idea what happened to screw that up. Now if I’m doing more than one thing at a time, my IQ drops. Ask Greg he’ll tell you, I can’t talk on the phone and point to what I want on the fast food menu. He once had to get out of the drive thru line until I finished my call. haha!

On the weekends, sometimes I get so involved in my to-do lists that I forget what time it is and that I never fed my kid breakfast and lunch….and I realize that she’s snacked on tortilla chips or cereal all day. I actually had to set a timer on my cell phone a few times to remind myself to feed my child.

I am self diagnosed dyslexia. I have ordered business cards 3 times now and each time they come back and I find a new mistake. I’ve looked over them 2431234 times but I NEVER catch it until I’ve already sent them to print. I’m working on set #4 today. Wish me luck!!

I judge you by how you treat people. I can’t help it. I watch how you treat your waitress/waiter, how you talk to someone who doesn’t agree with you, how you react if someone comes up and introduces themselves. I’m a people watcher and I judge you on how you treat others. I guess this is both a good and bad thing. Yesterday, Greg and I went out to eat (because I’m not Martha Stewart and can’t just whip up a meal on a whim). As we stood in line for our table, I watched a manager at the restaurant reprimand the newly hired employee on some mistakes she had made…in front of everyone. #1 it made me uncomfortable having to watch this poor girl be belittled in front of everyone for (what I thought was) a minuscule mistake…and #2 for what was completely unprofessional and could have been handled differently. Now every time I go into that restaurant, I am going to have that “uncomfortable” feeling….that is if I ever go BACK.

I’m not always happy. Contrary to popular belief……that I’m always “chipper”. That is not true. I get mad at stupid things, I can hold grudges-ask Greg, he’ll tell you…and I sabotage myself with “what-if’s”. I’d be a liar if I told you otherwise!

Soooooo there it is…..or at least…there is SOME of it is! I hope we can still be friends…..is there a pill for any of this?! LOL hahaha!!

And because every post is better with a picture. Here is a picture of my daughter from our shoot earlier this week that I’ll be blogging later. She’s my Punky Brewster!

 

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