I had no idea how I would start this post….I typed things and deleted them, typed it again and deleted them…..so I figured I’d just be as honest as possible and just go for it! It’s probably going to be all over the place (like usual) so grammar police, back off! haha!
I mentioned before in the very first blog post that I hesitated on talking about my journey into getting healthier on my photography blog because I wasn’t sure if it “fit”….you know, photography + weight loss ..but the more I thought about it, THIS….THIS is my blog, my little space on the inter-webber where I get to share my life, you as a reader or potential client get to see what I’m about and in some ways to decided if I’m someone you’d like to spend a few hours with during your session! hahah…..and that behind all the pretty pictures I take, I’m just a normal person with normal everyday problems just like the rest of you. I explained how a medical condition(s) prohibited me from losing weight and how I’m on a journey to get myself healthy again in this post “big macs, whoppers and diet coke”. I’m in no way shape or form endorsing any particular diet and as a matter of fact, I have NOTHING to sell you. No shake, no video, no contraption, no exercise equipment, supplement…nothing….just my story in hopes that it might encourage someone else along the way.
This journey has had so many ups and downs, it’s hard to explain to someone who’s never had weight issues. For one, the encouragement that I have received from friends and family and even people I don’t know has been so incredible. They mean more than you might ever know!!! But……. then there are random emails that I get that throw me for a complete and utter loop. I’m not naive, I know that after being in the media once, there are people from all over the world that follow my page, different believe systems, different points of view and different lifestyles…and I know that I will never make EVERYONE happy. I joked with someone once that if I posted that I liked the color blue, someone would email me and tell me that I was wrong and should like the color purple….so as you can see, I realize that I’ll never make everyone happy!
With that said, when I got this email below, I won’t lie-my heart kind of sank. I was actually out on my morning walk and I was 1/4th of the way thru it when I saw the message come thru. As I’m reading and walking (yes I can do two things at once) I kind of felt ashamed. I’m sure this email came from a good place in their heart…I get that, but it still hurt. I was hurt because I felt like “Oh no, was I making people feel bad about themselves because I was talking about loosing weight” and then I felt bad because I thought, “how dare someone tell me what I can talk about on my own page”. So for the remainder of the walk I let it consume me…..but then I snapped out it. This whole journey into getting healthy was about not letting anyone’s opinions of what my body should look like discourage me, being more than the number on the scale, doing this for me and not for anyone else…but here I go allowing someone else to dictate how I feel about myself.
The ironic thing is that I’ve been contacted by so many weight loss “consultants”. They want to send me their “merchandise” so that I’ll try it out, maybe talk about and then have everyone think that because I used that specific product that THAT is why I lost the weight. So in a nut shell, they would get credit for all of my hard work. I made myself a promise at the beginning…..I wanted to do this one my own. I want to be able to say at the end of my goal that *I* did it, that it wasn’t fad, that it wasn’t a product that it was my own blood, sweat and tears…trust me there has been A LOT of those. It’s been an emotional ride.
As of a few days ago, 4 plateaus, countless times wanting to give up, many emails like the one above, I’ve officially said good-bye to 50 pounds. I’ll be honest…..I might have had a little dance party in the bathroom!! And, I do have a ways more to go, but I feel so much better than I did 6 months ago. I apologize for the horrible iphone photos….but I wanted them to be “authentic”.
Don’t compare yourself to others….compare yourself to who you were yesterday and refuse to give up on yourself!!!! <3