They say you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with……when you stop to think about it…I mean REALLYYYY think about it-it’s so incredibly true! I started really thinking about that phrase and it solidifies the decisions I have made for myself and my family over the years. Now a days, I pride myself on being able to pick and choose who I allow to take up mental space, you know the space you reserve for the words of others-the space that you give to people and then replay what they say over and over again to yourself-the space you need filled by the acceptance of others-The space that can defeat you. It’s incredible when you surround yourself with upbeat and positive people….all of a sudden all of these amazing things happen within your life.
That wasn’t always the case. I know LOTS of you reading this can relate….there was a time where I would base my self worth on what people (family and friends) thought. The Debbie Downers who make little snide remarks, who give the back handed compliments. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe they were doing it on purpose-probably not even in a vindictive way (although sometimes it sure felt like it), I just think that deep down, they were miserable and it was hard for them to see past the negativity in order to be happy for any one else. They have the “crabs in a bucket” mentality, they would be the people you call excited because you just won the lottery and they would say “ahhh, well, you’re gonna have to pay taxes on that”. wah wah wahhhhhhhh. When you spend time with those “kind” of people, it can literally feel like an endless cycle. You start complaining about your financial situation, your living situation, your love life, your job, you’ll be so far in debt….and before you know it, you’re just like them. You start spewing off negativity online, you debate everything anyone says and basically it feels like the world is out to get you. When someone you love tells you exciting news, you’ll find fault in something, taking the attention off of them and putting it on you, you’ll give them a back handed compliment and you just find it so hard to be happy for anyone else’s successes because you hate your life so bad. Your weight starts to creep up and in order for you to level yourself out with someone who’s life is going great, you’ll bring them down (or try to) so that you can feel better about yourself…..we ALL know these kind of people! I bet you were mentally picturing people as you were reading thru this……I know I had my fare share (and still do) but now I decide who I give the mental head space away to!
When I was younger, and you’re under the thumb of adults, sometimes you are forced to spend time with people who are less ideal but as I got older and I could finally make the decisions on who I wanted to give my head space to, I started setting boundaries. I’m a firm believe that you feed off of other people’s energy so I got to a point where I though- why would you want to subject yourself to that if you could help it? But then this amazing thing happened. Some of them I completely cut out all together-I mean, I NEVER talk to them and have completely cut them out of my life. Others I’m still friends with but I set boundaries and I no longer give them permission to take up head space, they no longer spew their hate and I no longer have to feed off of it. Others, I have relationships with “at a distance”. We spend time together, we might talk or text but I set very strong boundaries with myself as to how much “mental head space” I let them take up…….and then there are the unicorn relationships that we have created over the years. These are the friends and family that lift you up even when you don’t think you deserve it, they encourage you, they are positive under the most unforgiving circumstances and they genuinely want the best for you. Unicorns do exist people!
After I started recognizing the relationships that were healthy and started spending more time with THOSE people amazing things started happening. (not in any particular order)We move into a new house-a fresh start and completed tons of renovations, which mainly involved taking out the old appliances that the previous owners had left and replacing them with newer makes and models. At the same time, we also made it our mission to research how a home warranty plan, from somewhere like First American Home Warranty (click for more info) could help to give these new appliances the protection they need should they break. This also helps us massively as we don’t want to think about how we’re going to resolve these situations. I’m glad we did as this was just the start of this amazing new chapter for us. My business took off, we decided to have a baby, we paid off our student loans and our HOUSE, Greg started a new business adventure and so many other amazing things in between! We did all of these things without having to listen to the negativity of other people telling us we couldn’t, we shouldn’t or that we were going to fail. When that little voice in your head goes away and you can fill it with “you can” or “you will”….amazing things will happen!!! Life just got so much more enjoyable. Although there is still room for improvement, I know deep down that if I had continued to let “those people” contaminate my life, it would look A LOT different than it does now. The fact that both me and Greg have our own businesses and we are working hard is an amazing achievement, we just need to keep on top of important things like financials, of course. We can look into businesses such as kruze accounting to help, as well as doing our own research. We’ve got this covered.
So I challenge you this new year….really sit down and do an inventory of who you spend time with and who you allow to take up space in your head! As cooky as I probably sound right now, when you start weeding those people out and setting boundaries life just gets so much better…..and all of those goals you have just fall into place!
Happy New Year!! 2016 is going to be amazing, you got this!<3
