I saw this post floating around facebook that made me smile. It said something along the lines of ” It’s ok not to be perfect during a pandemic!”. I laughed out loud because #1, I’m not usually a perfect mom ANYWAYSSSSSS and #2, man, could I relate!
Surviving a Mutha F’n Pandemic!
I spent the better half of Mallory’s childhood beating myself up about being “the perfect mom”. I had my fare share of “mommy guilt” for putting so many hours into growing my business, being away during long wedding days and not having “Pinterest perfect” crafts or meals. As they say, I’m not a Pinterest Mom, I’m more of an Amazon Prime kind of Mom! haha! I used to joke and say that Mallory was the practice round! Here I am doing round 2 with Levi and yep…..still not a perfect Mom!
I’m right there with you Mama, I’m not perfect on any given day but definitely not when the entire country is shut down and my schedule was thrown for a loop. Throw in a world wide pandemic and shit just HITSSSS the fan around here! haha! If I were to put myself into a category, it would be the Bad Mom’s category but not in the “leave my kids at home alone so I can go out drinking”…more of a “meh, that was only on the floor for 10 seconds-it’s fine!” (don’t get your panties in a wad, I know there’s a pandemic and germs so I’m not practicing the 10 second rule. It’s more like 3 seconds now! haha)
Maybe I’m being just a little extra but my point is, who ever put that meme together was right- a pandemic is not the right time to be the perfect Mom. ESPECIALLY, a work from home mom. You know Karen who posts all those cute little crafts she’s doing online? Sarah who just shared that cute little cut out cookie recipe that she just did with her kids or Barb who pretends she has a “schedule” since they’ll be off of school for another 4 weeks…..LIES! I promise you shit is hitting the fan in between their perfect posts.
Momma…you’re doing JUST fine! You’re doing more than fine…you’re living thru a mutha f’n pandemic! You’re keeping your children safe and meh-ok, they aren’t getting their standard hours of home schooling, they are (and you are) in the same clothes from the day before, or they are eating more junk food than vegetables….let me remind you, you were thrown into this without much warning, your schedule was throw upside down and you’re doing the best you can given what you had to work with on short notice AND.you’re.surviving.a.mutha.f’n.pandemic! Give yourself some Grace- then pour your self a stiff one (but after the kids go to bed-or not, I’m not judging).
In an effort to help make you feel better about yourself, I thought I’d share with you some of my most recent Mom Fails. I mean we’re all in this together right?
- The other day, I forgot to put hand sanitizer on after opening the front door with my bare hands. It’s ok, everyone is ok, but I haven’t been able to sleep. It makes me shutter just to think about it.
- I play jokes on my kids just for fun. Yesterday, we did the Nutella joke on Levi where you ask him to bring you a roll of toilet paper and then when you grab for it you rub some on their hand and they think that it’s poop. You should have seen the look on his face-it was pure horror. I mean, I think I changed the way he will feel about me forever. I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he realized his mother and father betrayed him. I just hope I can live with the fact that I wasted like 4 squares of toilet paper during a shortage. What kind of mother does that?
- I’ve been getting dirty looks from my teenager ever since I told her that she couldn’t go visit her boyfriend because….social distancing. Do you believe she muttered the words “That’s dumb, when am I going to be able to see him then?” In which I replied: “In like 2 minutes when you go Facetime him! When I was your age, I had to talk to my boyfriend on a phone that was attached to the wall and imagine what faces they were making!”. I swore I would never be that person who said those things…who have I become?
- I have a confession. The other day I left my house and I told people it was just to get groceries……but ya’all, I instead I went thru the McDonalds drive thru to get an ice cream. I know it wasn’t “essential” but good lord, I just needed to feel the sugar between my lips! I ate it in the car, discarded the evidence in a bag under the seat and then bold face LIED to my children that the reason I didn’t come home with groceries was because the shelves were still empty.
- Levi asked me to put on Paw Patrol right in the middle of my Netflix binge watching of Love is Blind. I looked right at him..my own flesh and blood..and told him: “Paw Patrol isn’t on right now because they have diarrhea and they’ll be back on tv once they feel better’. THEN…….THEN, I handed him a screen and said, “here go play with this so Mommy can finish watching her show”! I’m so disappointed in myself but I’m also so relieved that Lauren and Camron said yes because I just loved them. haha!
- I’ve been keeping a secret from Mallory. I had her help me set up a Tik Tok account so that I could start posting photography videos…but the truth is, I’ll be posting dance videos for the sole purpose of embarrassing her. She’s eventually going to find out and it kills me (with laughter) that she’s going to be mad.
That’s enough, I’ve already shared way too much! I just want you to know, you are not alone! Bad Mom’s Unite! We’re surviving a Mutha F’n Pandemic!