merry christmas | indiana county, pa photography | giving

This time of the year is bitter sweet for me. It has been since 2003. I’m excited to experience all of the new joys of being a mom of an itty bitty around the holidays, the joy and excitement that comes along with the traditions, activities and family time…..BUT I miss my sister terribly around the holidays-especially when I’m out shopping for gifts for everyone else. I wander what I might be buying for her this year? What she’d be into? What kind of hobbies she’d have? I wander what gift we’d be picking out for my parents together, I just wander what she’d be like as an adult. Would we be into the same kinds of things, or would she be a complete opposite of myself.  My mind is stuck at when she was 17.  When I talk about her, I still picture her face as a teenager-it’s hard to imagine what she might look like today.

It’s been 7 years…but as anyone knows who has lost someone, it doesn’t really ever get easier. Her car accident really caused me to look at life very differently. Life is soo incredibly short to not be doing what you love, to not be with the ones you love and to not follow your dreams. THAT is a fact. After my sister died, I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to live my life to the fullest. There are days where I feel like I’ve gotten off track but it doesn’t take long for the kick in the butt to get me back to where I need to be…….and honestly, it’s all about the journey!

I’ve followed my dreams of being a professional photographer…and as ironic as that is, it took my sister dying for me to wise up and buckle down to make things happen. The cliche’ that “you’re here today but everything could change tomorrow” ….well, it took a huge slap in the face and a major stab to the heart, but I “got it”.  I know I have big plans for next year….really exciting plans…places I want to go, people I want to meet and as I take my journey of “making things happen”…I will be constantly thanking my sister along the way. I’ve learned I have two choices, I would curl up in a ball in the fetal position and cry my eyes out OR I can make the most of out what I have left and create a journey worth writing about on my blog! So what’s my point? I hope all of you follow your dreams in 2011….and I hope you all create a journey that’s worth telling about-I know I’d love to hear your story!! 🙂

This is a (rather horrible photo) but it’s one of the last photos I have of her and I together. THIS is the face I continue to see when I think about her. Stuck at 17.

Yesterday, Greg and I were able to sneak out of the house while my mom watched Mallory to just do some last minute “whoops I forgot this or that” shopping. We stopped at a restaurant that we may not have otherwise chosen but hey, let’s try something different-right? We went in with a goal. Since we couldn’t purchase my sister or his mom anything for Christmas, we thought we’d do something extra nice with the money we may have spent if they were still with us today. We ordered our meals, ate our dinner and the waitor was so fantastic, cheerful and optimistic that we left a HUGE tip for him. As he came  to bring us back our change, we pushed it towards him and said, Please keep the change. He opened up the folder with the cash in it and had this confused look on his face. He flipped thru the bills counting in his head then looked back up at us, handed us the folder AGAIN, and said, “you might want to recount that”. We just smiled and said, NO, Please keep the change. I thought he was going to cry. The look on his face was worth every bill in the folder.

So during all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I hope that you too have felt the gift of giving…I know for certain that the feeling you get when you “GIVE” is better than any IPad, Camera or Lens I’ve ever owned!  From my family to yours…Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!