I wrote a blog a month or two ago that talked about all the things I learned about being a “self employed” business owner. I was only roughly a few weeks into it when I posted the blog but I wrote about the Random Realities of Being Self Employed. It was more tongue in cheek really, I mean I talked about such things like how your boss is awesome (which is true..haha), about how you can sleep in, how you talk to yourself and answer your self because you have no co-workers to chat with. For those of you who don’t know, I recently quit my full time day job to pursue my dream of being a full time photographer. As exciting as it sounds that I’m following my dream and ultimately getting paid to do what I love, it also comes with a lot of accountability and responsibilities.I mean, I *AM* my own boss and if my business fails it’s *MY* fault, I can’t share the blame with a co-worker or a supervisor….it’s my fault.
With that said, I recently made a decision that I know could ultimately create backlash for what I’ve decided….and honestly, I don’t care! The really cool thing-(even among all the scary things of owning a business) is that you can make decisions without having to go through the hierarchy of people. On a whim yesterday after seeing something that was so appalling, I decided I was going to email some of my clients to tell them “I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos”.
Let me explain. Last night I posted on Facebook the following: “If I’m wrong, please speak up. I came across a page on Facebook that was created (by someone under a fictitious name) thats purpose is to bully, ridicule and say mean and hurtful things about their class mates. While visiting the page, I found several teenage girls that have scheduled sessions with me for their senior pictures. I am emailing them tomorrow to cancel their shoots. I do not want them to represent my business and I am beside myself at how MEAN and CRUEL they were on that page.” As I was drafting the email that I was going to send out to the clients my phone was blowing up with comments.
Now I realize it’s going to be hard to know that every person that ever contacts me isn’t a bully, I understand that…but in this specific instance it was right in front of my face. I saw it with my own eyes..it wasn’t hear say, it was right there..with their smiling face right beside such an ugly statement. I couldn’t forget about it, I mean how I could spend 2 hours with someone during our session trying to take beautiful photos of them knowing they could do such UGLY things. Realistically, I know by canceling their shoots it’s not going to make them “nicer people” but I refuse to let people like that represent my business.
This morning I sent out 4 emails to those clients while CC’ing in their parents explaining WHY I was canceling their shoots. I also included screen shots of the comments they made. They couldn’t deny it, I had the picture of what they said. I informed them that I’d be sending their deposits back and that they’d have to find another photographer. So far, I have received two emails back from their parents that claimed (I’m paraphrasing) they were shocked that this had happened. They apologized that their child acted in such a way and that they would deal with the matter. So far I haven’t received any backlash but I’m ready for it. I’m a small business owner and I have the luxury of making that decision. If you are ugly on the inside, I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos to make you look pretty on the outside!
I’m not going to give a big speech that says how wrong or uncool it is…because let’s face it, you are seniors you should know better. I’m not trying to save the world of bullies or trying to start a movement. I simply don’t want to photograph ugly people!
To all of you who commented or “liked” the status… It’s heart warming to know that you support my decision.
Thank YOU!
*** updated 8/25/11: For those of you reading this for the first time, here is a follow up blog post that may answer any questions you may have: https://jenmckenphoto.com/blog/2011/08/25/just-to-clarify-not-shooting-ugly-people-indiana-county-pa-photographer-personal/
*** updated 8/16/12: One year later, what I learned about going viral: https://jenmckenphoto.com/2012/08/what-i-learned-about-going-viral-jen-mcken-photographer/
I don’t think Mark read the article, and instead went by the title. That is the only way he could have come up with saying it had to do with inner beauty.
thanks you.
Thank you so much for taking a stand. I can only hope that others follow in your footsteps. I was a bullied teen, and an adult finally held one of the bullies accountable – I’d never felt more relief in my very young life – because finally someone else validated my belief that bullying is wrong, and that it was happening to me. My hats off to you, and though I have a meager presence on Facebook and Twitter, I have shared your story and will continue to celebrate your stance!
If there’s backlash, you’ve got 198 comments to the contrary to cheer yourself up with.
I think this is great. If I lived in Pennsylvania (and, uh, had any money), I’d find some reason to hire you.
You’re awesome!!! Good for you for taking a stand!
BRAVO, Jen!
Amazing and well written. Good for you! I’m so happy to see there are such good hearted people out there.
I applaud you. I am 52 years old and I have not forgotten school. I avoid walking past a school, preferring to go the long way.
You will not suffer for your stand and may not even notice just how much you will gain from your stance.
I admire and applaud your stand against bullying. I love that you aren’t allowing business to trump your morals and that rather than ignoring it, you took action. That act says SO MUCH for the integrity of both you and your business. I pray that given the same set of circumstances I would be brave and bold enough to make the same decision. You’ve inspired me!
I am extremely touched by this story, and think you did a wonderful thing. As an artist and photographer myself, (who also works a day job in Advertising & Marketing), I’ve been told on multiple occasions that I’m “too emotionally connected” to succeed in the business world. I always disagree and feel that emotion is what makes artists GREAT at their job, no matter what the medium. BRAVO for showing that artists can be successful. You are an inspiration!
How can anyone not admire you? You’ve made every one of us who cringe at stories of bullying proud. Thanks for your strength and for taking a stand. May your life continue to be a beacon to others.
I am sick of the “MEAN GIRLS” attitude that is prevailant amongst teens these days? Why? What is the deal? I have ended a photo shoot early because the daughter was hateful and rude and mean to her mother. I told the girl that i could not find the beauty in her when I was so upset at her behavior to the person who gave her life, bought her a suitcase full of MISS ME jeans and was screaming at her mother! The mother was embarassed by her daughter and apologized for the daughter. I told the mother that she had to stop apologizing for her 18 year old daughters behavior and hold her accountable. Since then the daughter returned, was much more respectful and I also asked her to leave her cell phone in the car during the session. I dont allow cell phones in sessions anylonger. I caught one girl texting saying that I was “a HIPPO!” (I am a size 16 but a HIPPO? )
These young ladies need to act like young ladies and not bullies and prima Donnas! Its nuts. Thank you for standing up! Im so proud of you! We should all adopt this policy!!! Facebook allows many to be hateful and rude and its just not right. Thank you again!!!! THree Cheers for you JEN!
I understand. Bullying is sickening and sad. It would be hard to be happy go lucky around someone you KNEW was being a bully or if you knew someone else’s deep dark secrets. But aren’t we all just as ugly and disgusting and sinful inside? No sin greater than the other. All equal. I really do get it. I’m just afraid for the logic of this. Am I so much better than the bullying teenager, even though I’m so humanly selfish? Even though I might have a temper sometimes? We were loved as sinners. The ONLY perfect human being to ever grace planet earth loved those sinners. Did he rebuke them? Sure. But how did he do it? I just don’t know. Thought a different perspective might help us all look at this from a different angle. I, by no means support bullying! And I’m sure that by informing these parents- maybe, hopefully those kids learned a very valuable lesson! All this commending and patting each other on the back has me confused. If I ever had to do something like this- I would hope no one would pat me on the back for it. There’s nothing that I’ve done that makes me good. We are, after all, inately bad. I dunno…just thinking out loud here. Did no one else here not really see this as a triumph?
I think that’s a wonderful idea. They’ll find someone who is willing to take their pictures, but I think it’s great that you care that much!
Outstanding executive decision on “ugly” people — good for you! I’m a writer, and I wouldn’t want to misrepresent a subject in words; it’s absolutely your right to take the same stance with your photography subjects. Proud of you!
As an amateur photographer, and a person, I agree 200%.
Good call.
I just read about this on CNN – big hugs to you, Jen! You handled it beautifully!
oh and just to comment on the one that said you would lose business……anyone who won’t do business with you is probably not someone you want to do business with anyway….
Thank you for showing that character counts!!
AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME!!
P.S.- Your photography is AWESOME! Wish I was in your area b/c I just know you could take the greatest pics of my little guy 🙂
Kudos to you, Jen, for standing up for what you believe in – regardless of the consequences. I know it’s scary to take a strong stance when you are self-employed, but I firmly believe you did the right thing. You’re on the right side of this debate! And the good karma you’ve created will more than make up for any ignorant negativity that may come your way.
Wow, Jen. What a tough situation. I commend you for standing up for what you believe in, I know sometimes it isn’t easy and the the results can be costly. Bullying is such an issue these days, it’s not something anyone should ever have to deal with. You are a brave & inspiring woman! Way to take a stand!
Way to go!
Impressive! I absolutely love the instant accountability that you are providing these girls and their parents. I would be absolutely ashamed if I had a teenage girl that had done that. I am not saying that it could not happen to me in the future, but I truly hope that this same thing happens if any of my girls do something like this. Thank you!
Good for you, and please know that you will have my support, my applause, and my business. As someone bullied relentlessly for nearly a decade, I can’t stand ugliness either.
This is wonderful! I think if people were treated according to how they acted instead of how they looked the world would be a much nicer place. Because of you these kids will remember how they treated someone else forever and maybe will think twice before doing it again when they realize there are consequences to their actions.
As a girl who was bullied in Jr. High/High School to the point of being suicidal over the awful things said to and about you…I thank you! So amazing what you did.
I have also shared your blog. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Taking a stand against bullying is wonderful! I’m sure you gave those girls something to think about. Pretty is more than just what is on the outside. Great job. 🙂 God bless you!
You did the right thing. Which isn’t always easy, or in your case profitable. God Bless you… and may this be a wake-up call for these young women. You may have made a differance in at least one life, for the better.
I applaud your decision to not do business with the bullies. Sadly, they are unlikely to learn any lessons from it.
You were just on our local Orlando WESH 2 News (NBC affiliate)!
One million starts with one. You’ve take a courageous stand and said “Not me, I will not cooperate.” For all you know the beautiful photos you take could be used by the bullies to further justify their belief they are “beautiful people.” Thank you for showing the world who these people really are!
Beautiful. Brava!
As someone who loves photography, and is a hack who likes to learn about taking photos, thank you for showing a professionalism with what you do that goes above and beyond what most people would be willing to do. Thank you for taking a risk and believing in what is right. As a parent, I hope if anyone ran across comparable trash from my child, whether on line or in person they would take such action. You gave a very real consequence to those girls, and I can only pray they learn from it and can work to re-sculpt their character as a result. To quote Oz Guiness: “Character counts!”
Jen your amazing! Props to you for doing what most wont!
You are awesome!!!
I was really glad to read that some of the parents thanked you and said they were going to address the issue. And I hope that the girls realize their behavior is wrong and change.
YOU are a BEAUTIFUL person, inside & out!!! Not many people would make that choice, knowing they might suffer financially. AWESOME! I love it!
I ‘like’ the way you think (he he he).
This was in my twitter feed. I wanted to commend you for making the right decision for yourself and your business. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we stand for our business, and our business stands for us also. I was one of the bullied girls growing up, and I wish someone would have stood up to them similarly. Thank you!
I’m sending you applause from Australia for your action in this – it’s good to see someone willing to stand up for what they believe in. I only hope it will teach these mean and nasty girls something.
way to make a statement indeed! wish you the best!
Character, it’s what you do when no one’s looking.
Good for you, nicely done.
Brave choice. As a former advertising agency creative director, I understand the importance of knowing the impacts of the work you put out there. It’s not all done in isolation. Choices matter.
Phillip
Uncle to Ryan Patrick Halligan
ryanpatrickhalligan.com
A friend recommended ur blog and now I know why. I think what you did was awesome
Good. For. You 🙂
Way to go!! I will definitely have to remember this sad lesson when I finally get to go into business myself.
Hello from Chile. Thanks for setting this good example, Jennifer. I will share this with my students.
HOORAY for you, Jen!!! You knocked this one out of the park! You hit the nail on the head with this post (catchy title too!) I applaud your stance, and will share this with others. Amazing work and astounding backbone! You WILL succeed, you WILL SOAR and I am rooting for you 100% You are a strong, brave and talented woman and have opened the eyes of a lot of people with this post! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world!
Susan from SOAR… xo!