Personal-Everyday Chaos

Random 3am Thoughts : Sister Holiday Shenanigans

By December 20, 2019 No Comments
I have a hard time shutting off my brain sometimes. If you’ve ever had a session with me, you know this to be true. HAHA! I’m “self diagnosed” ADD- but in 100% honesty, I absolutely think I have it!  I’m always thinking ahead to the next thing and at times it can be exhausting. I asked Greg last night before bed, “Can you just sit there and not think about anything? Like you can just shut your brain off?” and he answered yes! I don’t even know what that would be like. To not think about ANYTHING! It boggles my mind. Before you mention meditation-I’ve tried it! Unless someone out there has some magic way of teaching it, I have tried EVERYTHING imaginable! I can not shut my brain off….this results in random 3 am thoughts that keep me up at night. 
Last night, it was a memory about my sister…..
I remember when I was younger, we lived in the trailer I spent most of my childhood in. My mom would write what she got us for Christmas on a list and taped it on the back of her bedroom door. She “hid” it behind her bath robe that hung there but both my sister and I knew where it was. While the rest of my friends were hunting thru their houses and trying to pry open the already wrapped presents to see what was inside without getting caught, my sister and I just had to wait until Mom ran outside to feed the cats before running back the hallway. She’d stand just outside the door and watch while I read off what was on the list. My sister couldn’t read yet so sometimes I’d tell her she was getting stuff like “toothpaste” or “socks” even though none of that was on the list. I purposely left out the good stuff because for some strange reason, I still wanted her to be surprised. She was just excited to be part of the thrill. That’s how I knew I was getting a PJ Sparkles that year!! 
At the time, I had NO IDEA that I was making a memory. I had no idea that she’d no longer be with us all these years later and that I would treasure those memories and photos more than any of the gifts I ever received.
These are crappy scans of holiday photos that we did back in 2003 when she died. At the time, we had no idea about resolution, so they aren’t the sharpest images but it’s the memories that are attached with them that mean more. I also want to point something out….notice how my mom isn’t in the photos? It’s because she was taking the photos! Mom’s GET IN THE PHOTOS THIS YEAR! Exist and be part of the memories that your kids will look back on someday! I promise you they wan’t care if you’re too “fluffy”, didn’t dress right, didn’t do your makeup, didn’t XYZ or any other excuse-they just want to see you!
I often wonder what kind of memories my kids will remember when they are my age. If Mallory or Levi will have random 3am thoughts about all the traditions we’ve had over the years. Whatever they are, I know they’ll have lots of photos to look back on! But I can’t wait to hear all about the holidays thru the filter of their eyes one day!
I hope you have a Merry Christmas and that you  make lots of your own holiday memories! Exist…and take LOTS of pictures!!
Much Love,